A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey everyone,so there's this guy I've been seeing (for about 2 months), he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend , but we meet up every other day. Anyway, he lives about an hour away from me and asked me to pick him up so we can hang out at my place. I agreed because I know that he has a restriction on his driver's license for drunk driving. So before we went to my place, we went to the store to go pick up some groceries so we could make dinner together. I ended up paying for everything, which didn't bother me at first because he said he was going to give me half when we got to my place. That didn't happen. He made chicken with pasta and I made a cake for desert. He didn't even want to try the cake that I made which kind of hurt my feelings. We went to bed after that and since it's that time of the month, we didn't have sex but I ended up giving him oral pleasure. The next day we were planning on going to the beach together to hang out. I woke up around 10 a.m and took a long shower. I was excited about us having a relaxing day together. I got out of the shower and saw him laying on the couch sleeping, he slept for another 2 hours. Once he woke up he told me that his mother called him and that he has to help her with some errands so he won't be able to spend the day with me. Now, this is the point where I got REALLY pissed off. I mean come on, give me a break. I drove for an hour to get him , paid for dinner, gave him oral pleasure and this is how he repays me? Seriously? I wanted him to leave immediately. We got in the car and the whole ride to his place I didn't talk. He sensed that something was wrong. He kept asking me but I was too mad to talk. I dropped him off and ended up crying in the car because somehow I always end up getting used by the people that I care for. What do you think about this? Am I overreacting? What should I do? I'm really confused. :(
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 March 2013):
 Overreacting ?,lol- You should have put him out by the scruff of his neck, and told him to call a cab to go home ! or, actually, to call his "mom " , so they can get started with their errands ! he even got driven back where he wanted at the exact time he wanted !
OP, the reason why you end up being used ...is because you think that standing up for yourself, and setting boundaries for people , means " overreacting ". No no, it just means that you respect yourself and expect respect from people. Sure, in the process of establishing boundaries, you may lose some persons along the way, like this drunk driver friend of yours, but... it won't big a big loss at all :)
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (10 March 2013):
 Yea he was all about the bj. Men will do crazy stuff for sex and get this: watch for reciprocation when giving. That'll give you a clear picture of his intentions.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (10 March 2013):
 Your welcome. :)X and good luck with your future happiness
Mandy x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAt first, I thought I was overreacting a bit because I am on my monthly, but now that I have read your thoughts on this, I will definitely put an "X" on this guy! I refuse to be degraded any further. Thank you for your advice ! :)
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (10 March 2013):
HI
The reason you get used is because you allow it to happen. He said he would pay half so you should have reminded him, he is a user.....Also he knew that you were on your monthly so got what he wanted from you and now he will wait for a few day's, knowing you will have finished so he can have sex with you. Do yourself a favour now and tell him his not the guy you thought he was and that you deserve better, get rid of him , guys like that make other giys look bad. The excuse of his mother phoning is the oldest trick in the book, he was perfectly fine whilst he was getting what he wanted!!!!!
Mandy x
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