A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:in the last two years ive come across girls who ive like or fancied. but it always turns out that im just a shoulder to cry on, and they decide to get back with their ex boyfriends even though they've told me the think im fit and they wanna go out with me.why have i never found a girl where it's just simple and we end up going out? is there something i do wrong? i feel like the film JUST FRIENDS was written for me. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jenz1992  +, writes (8 September 2008):
My ex-best mate was a boy and he was always the friend to all girls. The thing was that most of the girls who liked him as friend really wanted to go out with him but he was too blind to see it. Eventually I did get with him for a bit but it ended up not working out at all.Not the most reassuring story but you get the idea. You need to try to get the girls rather than just being a shoulder to cry on because girls are never likely to make the first move and will assume you just like them as friends.Good Luck ;)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2008): Look up Ladder Theory online. That lays it all out.
There are two basic problems with your attitude about girls:
1. You think that treating a girl better equals her wanting you more (romantically). Wrong.
2. You think that the way into her pants is through a friendship stage first. Wrong again.
Going from friends to lovers usually only works when she wanted you as a lover the whole time.
What you need to do is stop giving her what she wants, and start demanding what YOU want. If you're romantically interested in a girl, then you need to start making that clear within a week or less of first meeting her face-to-face. If she turns you down, then you could try a few more times. But don't be her friend expecting it to turn romantic eventually once you've been nice enough. It's usually never gonna happen.
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A
female
reader, Emajayne  +, writes (8 September 2008):
 Okay i have an answer, not nessesarily the right one, but its an answer none the less. girls can easily be friends with guys, especially guys who are easy to talk to, easy to be emotional with. Girls dont have problems being friends with guys, but guys tend to want in the girls pants in addition to wanting to be friends. U are the type of guy that is the marrying type, not the boyfriend type. don't worry, when u do find a girl that likes u back, the girls will not stop trying to get with u. it just works out that way. i love that movie btw...what is said is true. u should watch the movie and write down some stuff.
U aren't being flirtatious enough. u need to be mysterious, edgy, sweet and funny, but maintain some form of distance. Girls tell people things when they feel that uve opened up completely to them. U want that trust, but in more of a "ooh i wonder whats in those pants?" sort of way.
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A
female
reader, placebo_mad +, writes (7 September 2008):
sometimes guys just aren't 'dating material' its not a specific thing you do, but some girls would rather have you as a friend as they are moer long term then a boyfriend and obviously think more of you. next time your with a girl you like before it gets into the 'friend' thing quietly hint about looking for dates etc. or make it into a date before it can get too far into friendship. I've got friends who fancied me but I didn't want aything to do with them because I saw them as a brotherly influence and too caring. i couldn't be attrracted to someone like my older brother! so we became friends and I love it. Don't be full on caring, try and stay the distance and keep some mystery without leaving her in the dark. don;'t be over enthusiastic. thats all i can say!
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2008): im just like you mate, freinds and no else!!!!
why??!!!!
somebody just tell us why??!
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