A
female
age
36-40,
*ettyBoup
writes:Hi. Just fancied asking a question for discussion. I know this is a kind of sweeping generalisation, and I know not every guy is the same, but go with me here... Why do guys assess every female's attractiveness, almost automatically? And why do men so openly comment and discuss every woman's attractiveness with each other? As if it's their right as a man to do so?I will give some example of what I mean...When my boyfriend talks about women in passing, he often comments on their level of attractiveness, or whether he would sleep with them. This is often in front of other guys but sometimes to me just in passing absent-mindedly, like when he's talking about a woman. For example, we went to get a chinese and he said about the woman.. "shes always on the phone when I go in, talking really agressively. I mean, she's quite attractive, but I wouldn't wanna go there, she's scary" or words to that effect. Another example of this behaviour I've noticed, is when hanging out with a group of guys. When watching TV they're constantly commenting on the women and asking each other if they 'would' (sleep with them). Now I know some people will say, 'boys will be boys', but I just feel uneasy about it. It may be linked to my own insecurities. An example of this, is once my boyfriend joked that 'of course he didnt fancy Kat Von D, of course he wouldn't stay up all night shagging her'. He said this in front of me when he had a friend iver. I guess it got to me because he barely wants to shag me once a week. So I felt hurt by that comment, although I know it's just a typical 'I am warm blooded male' comment.I just feel sometimes, in the case of some males, and sometimes my boyfriend, that guys talk this way of women as if they are merely objects for their assessment. As if it is their right to judge them as attractive or not. I guess it makes me uneasy because I don't want to be judged like this, even on an unconscious, automatic level. For me, as a woman, I never really think if I would sleep with a guy ever, unless its a guy I really fancy and I dont often see guys I really fancy, so I dont think of guys in that way. A guy is just a guy, unless I attracted to them, and then it can often be mutual, as its not often and I have a particular type. So I guess I dont understand why a guy has to evaluate EVERY woman, especilly when the guy is in a relationship. I mean, I know everyone meets people they ARE attracted to in a relationship, but why would someone look at every guy/girl in that way? Is it just a guy thing?I asked my boyfriend once why he always judges womens attractiveness. He said it was just automaticly what he does. Its what all men do, apparently with every woman they see. They immediately think 'yes I would', or 'no I wouldn't'. Now I just wondered if this was true for you other guys out there? And what thoughts do other people have around this subject? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Myrrh +, writes (27 April 2010):
 Like yourself, i dont watch men and rate them on a Bonkability Scale. Im in a relationship and tend to focus on my partner. And my thoughts of sex and physical attractivness are directed at him. But i gather it is quite normal for SOME men to do this with women. I say some because im sure not all men do it. My partner is one of the "Men who stare at Women" brigade. He used to give me a running commentary on which ones were pretty and which ones werent. He didnt go so far as telling me which ones he would have sex with but it was pretty obvious. He was once so engrossed in staring at a couple of girls in a department store, that he lost his barings and walked into a rail of ladies clothes, fell over and took the lot with him. The girls stared at him then but i dont think it was because they thought he was hot. I think the whole rating thing is just what some of us have to live with. My partner has got better at hiding it from me, after i explained he was giving me a complex. I was getting all prettied up for him, while he ignored me to look at others and it offended me. But he still does it. He says its a genetic throw back thing and he gets a tingle when he sees a perfect 10 girl. And that brings out "Ugg The Caveman" in him. I guess they cant grab these women by the hair and drag them back to the cave anymore, so they just watch them all and talk about them instead x
A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE  +, writes (27 April 2010):
 wow good question i never thought about it but you kno your right. Im guessing ts a biological thing since men usually do all the work in a relationship to get it started anyway. i thought women did that to but now that i think about men are much more out going i think when judging women ive been in groups where the men will be rating women and the women in the groups will actually get into rating other women as well.
For instance if the guys are saying this girl has a nice bum or nice rack or what not the girls in many cases will start comenting to but in my experience they rarely will say anything about any man.
its true that men are visual i mean the right package just does something to our brain i guess for woman its shopping or chocolate, ive seen women so beutiul it felt good to look at them its almost like being drug sometimes you feel compelled to talk to them. but most guys realize theres no sense in even bothering to ask her out shes a perfect 10 and your barely 1 so they just gawk and talk about her rack.
another thing it i guess every guy has a diffrent order but it usually comes down to a mathematical equation nice bum+nice rack+ plus nice face+ Flat stomach + nice hair = hot the brain seems to automatically knows what it likes i guess it like when piking out shoes or a purse women kno what they like.
good question though i would like to see what behavor scientist say
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