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Why do guys always go for the "hot" girls vs the "cute" ones?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 August 2010) 16 Answers - (Newest, 21 August 2010)
A female Canada age 30-35, *ebralove writes:

I guess this question is more for guys but women your advice helps to.

So my question is, why do guys always go for the "hot" girls vs the "cute" ones.

By hot I mean girls who have a lot of sex apeal and of course they are beautiful. The ones who turn heads, you know? And then there is me who falls into the "cute" category, I'm a petite girl 5'2", I do think I'm rather good looking but I guess I dont have all that much sex apeal but I mean I'm not conservative or enything. Why don't I turn heads? (well i guess that hard to answer since you havnt seen me hihi) Thanks!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010):

Some girls can,t always help been hot and should not be cast aside as not worth getting to know, simply because of their outside appearance because they happen to turn heads. Should they shave their heads and wear sack cloth so they are not judged unfairly. This is just as wrong as somebody not bothering to get to know the cute girl, ALL OF IT OUTSIDE APPEARANCE. The fatties v the skinnies and vice versa, the hotties v the cuties....the virgin v the slut all outside things, we are ALL UNIQUE and should'nt be comparing in the first place and as you know true beauty comes from within and this is what shines through the EYES OF THE ONE LOOKING!!!!!!!!!

SPUNKY MONKEY.

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A female reader, zebralove Canada +, writes (20 August 2010):

zebralove is verified as being by the original poster of the question

zebralove agony auntStrontiumdog, I wanted to thank you for your answer. :)

But no i'm not after the popular jock kind of guy. I also prefer a nice nerdy guy i could say who is atractive but doesnt know it. :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010):

Cute Girls 'Hot' Girls

Too many 'Hot' Girls look so cliche.

Cute girls usually have more of a unique/creative look, which I really like.

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A female reader, zebralove Canada +, writes (19 August 2010):

zebralove is verified as being by the original poster of the question

zebralove agony auntThank you DirtBall :)

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (19 August 2010):

dirtball agony aunt"Cute girls look inocent but arn't always so inocent. We just choose to keep are sexuality for are man. Men dont like it when all the other guys can tell how his women is in bed just by looking at her..."

2pac said it best. "It don't take a lot to keep a _____ hard, must be a lady in the light and real freaky in the dark."

Guys do want a girl they can be proud to take home to mom and at the same time have wild and crazy, the neighbors are complaining about it, sex. Well, most of us do.

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (19 August 2010):

dirtball agony auntWhat is a good personality?

Tough question. I think it really depends on the person you're asking. Everyone has their own take on this question. To me, it's someone who is confident, who's not afraid to speak her mind, who can admit when she's wrong, who will fight for what she believes in, and who is deeply caring, sometimes to a fault. There are plenty of other attributes that might come into the equation as well, but that's the starter list for me.

What's crossing the line from needy to posessive?

That's another tough one. Again it boils down to the individual you're with. Some guys like their girl to check in every day. Keep them updated on everything in their life. They like having her want the same from him. Other guys like to check in occasionally. Lead mostly separate lives. Get in contact when there is something important to talk about.

There are a couple of things you can watch out for which will be hints about his personality. How quickly does he return a call or text? This will tell you the level of communication he likes to have and manage. Does he ask questions about what you're saying? This is a great sign he's listening to you and not just giving the: "yeah, uh huh, sure, great, what, noooo, yeah," response. If you don't call him one day, does he call you? This will show if the communications you're having are one sided or mutual as well.

To me, it's best to communicate openly about your expectations early on in a relationship. If you want to be called every day, even just to say hi, then tell him that. It doesn't have to be needy. It becomes needy when you demand it. If you find the right guy, then this becomes much less of an issue. Your personalities will mesh to the point where you think along the same lines. You may never even have to express some of what you want because he'll want it too and it will just happen. Another very needy/clingy behavior is not doing anything separately. Again, some people are just that way, most I know need some "me time." Don't demand to spend every minute together, that's a sure fire way to drive off most guys.

_____________________________

You said you're from a small town. Do you plan on going to college, or moving to a larger city? Part of the thing is that you'll not find what you're looking for if it isn't there. Go somewhere that you can meet a guy that matches what you're looking for. Be who you are, because you don't want someone to fall for a false impression they have of you. Good luck.

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A female reader, zebralove Canada +, writes (19 August 2010):

zebralove is verified as being by the original poster of the question

zebralove agony auntHoneyPie I'm talking about physical apearence not sluts who will give them selves right away to enyone.

Cute girls look inocent but arn't always so inocent. We just choose to keep are sexuality for are man. Men dont like it when all the other guys can tell how his women is in bed just by looking at her...

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (19 August 2010):

Honeypie agony auntHot girls will put out sooner then a cute girl.. So why not have a hot GF?

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A female reader, zebralove Canada +, writes (19 August 2010):

zebralove is verified as being by the original poster of the question

zebralove agony auntDirtball you just brought up a whole new question up haha!

What is a good personeality? I sometimes feel as if i'm doing something wrong because men I meet seem to not want a relationship...

I think they think I'm too needy or something. Because I'm not like most girls from around here (verry small town), where people live simple lives and dont feel the need to excell in there jobs/lifes. I DO love simple things and nature and all that BUT I do love to trable, and no not with no money sleeping in a car for 5 days. With most of the guys out here have done LOL.

But I want someone who will accept me the way I am. I'm not jalous nor am I possesive. I'm independent and kind.

So anywais lol I know I will find someone but I just would like to know from a guys point of vew, whats crossing the line a needy and possesive and whats not?

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A male reader, dirtball United States +, writes (19 August 2010):

dirtball agony auntWhat did a friend tell me once (keep in mind he's kind of a dick)? Oh yeah, go for the ugos, the'll be way more appreciative and let you do whatever you want.

Really, "hot" girls are nice to look at, and can be a bit of a trophy GF. However, a guy who dates someone who's super hot has to be very confident because they know that their GF is going to be getting checked out all the time. You can't let that bother you or you're in trouble. Actually, a lot of the "hot" girls I've know say that they have trouble finding a man. It's because a lot of guys don't have the confidence to talk to them. They naturally think she's too pretty for little ol' me.

I like "cute" girls. The kind with the smile that can light up a room. With a personality that makes me swoon. One who doesn't feel the need to be all made up all the time. There is a definite beauty in being comfortable with who you are and not trying to conform to a standard.

BTW, cute girls can also be hot, and visa versa.

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (19 August 2010):

BrownWolf agony aunt

Ask yourself this...Which guy would you want to marry...A hot guy who sleeps with every woman he gets his hands, or a cute guy who is just looking for a long term relationship?

Hot girls find it harder to settle down later in life, just like hot guys.

I would rather have a cute woman with a sexy mind, than a hot air head any day. Like totally!

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A female reader, zebralove Canada +, writes (19 August 2010):

zebralove is verified as being by the original poster of the question

zebralove agony auntThanks guys it helps alot! :)

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (19 August 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntDO men do that? I don't know. A lot rather like cute girls. And as the previous poster says, clieched as it may sound, when it comes to long-term relationships, a good woman trumps a hot one. A hot girl is visually arresting, just as a hot guy is, but it's far more important that she's interesting, can hold a conversation and is mentally compatible with her parner.

Have some patience, sweets. Maybe you've just not met the right sort of men?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010):

What we like to look at and what we want are two different things. I like to look at 'Hot' women because they're visually appealing, they're usually dressed to show off what they got and they get a lot of looks because it's very noticeable. The problem those women have though, is while they turn heads and guys look at them, we really only think about sex with them, most guys just want to have sex with a girl like that no matter what her personality is like.

It's the girls like you, that are 'cute' that might not necessarily catch the eye of every guy in the room but are nonetheless attractive. They're the girls we go over and talk to to find out if this girls personality is as cute as her appearance. It is the cute girls that we want to get to know, the hot ones we just want to shag.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010):

I'm the one who falls for the cute girls... and alot of guys do. So your ideas are very misguided! It's just like the good boy / bad boy thing... why do women always for for the bad boy? Answer: they don't!

I love cute girls and I find them much sexier than the other ones you describe...

bon courage!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010):

Us guys are visual creatures. Don't blame us personally for that type of thing. I know for me the hotties really catch my "eye". What really grabs my heart though is not the outside as much, as what is on the inside, that is what a persons heart is made of. A lady with a golden heart to me is worth more than a million "hottie" ladies. :)

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