A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I were together for a long time and are both in our thirties. I had no idea he was unhappy until one day we had an argument and I came home and all his stuff was gone... he told me when he broke up with me that he loved me more than he ever loved anyone...wtf? Anyway, I tried to cut contact, but eventually we kept contacting each other... I told him that if he didn't want to be with me then we shouldn't talk and he didn't want that. But the entire time he was being blowing hot and cold... then he just became really cold. The whole thing blew my mind because we were best friends before... he never would tell me the truth about why he really wanted to leave. It's like he loved me so much one day and the next, after he broke it off, instantly cold. Nobody had ever been like that to me and it hurt me more than any break up... does anyone know why ppl. do this? We had talked of marriage, so I thought he was really in love. Eventually, I had had it with the iciness, so we haven't talked anymore. It still hurts because I've never loved anyone as much as him and for him to be great one day and the next a total stranger, I don't get it. I'm afraid to get into another relationship because of this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Some guys are just plain simple stupid selfish fools whom seem to think only two people are involved in a broken relationship
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (17 November 2010):
 Guys typically do this because they don't want you to see them hurting. Whatever his reasons for breaking up, he is resolved in them. His cold attitude toward you is also a way to keep you from wanting to contact him. Basically a way to make sure contact is cut so the healing process can begin.
Guys are encultured to not show their sadness. "Boy's don't cry!" As such, sadness often comes out in the emotion that's ok for boys to express, anger. Sometimes that mix creates a cold/dead exterior, when on the inside we just want to sob.
He's likely a boy who's not completely comfortable expressing his emotions. He's uncomfortable with what he's feeling and so he's shutting down. Give him space and take the time to grieve your relationship. He may warm up, but don't wait for it or hope for it. Good luck moving on.
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