A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm an 18 year old guy, senior in high school. I don't think I'm a bad looking dude, but def not a pretty boy. When girls see me at first, there are some girls that think I'm cute, some girls that think I'm ok, and some girls that think I'm ugly (which I can't understand cause I really feel I'm not bad looking). Well, a lot of times even the ones that thought I was ugly end up liking me. It's like once they start talking to me their attitude towards me completely changes. Like they will not even talk to me but once they get to know me they smile and say hi with enthusiasm. How can they like me but think I'm ok or ugly? When me or my homies see a girl we're are either attracted to her or we're not. Like if she's ugly, my friends won't wanna date her even if she has a cool personality. I'm not trying to sound harsh, but that's just the way it seems to be with guys. Do girls think differently when it comes to being attracted to a guy or something? it's so confusing Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): I agree, guys are like that, omen in general are more for personality, but ona certain point. Girls that I know are very particular with whom they want to be romantically involved, and with whom not.
How do you know these girls think you are ugly? Did they tell you tha? just curious.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 March 2013):
 Ever wonder why average looking guys end up with stunning girlfriends or wives? Because they had the confidence to talk to her and let her get to know them.
Men who only will approach women they think they have a chance with or who they deem attractive are missing out on so much because honey let me tell you, looks fade, boobs sag, belly's bloat... but personalty is forever.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (27 March 2013):
 Yea man women generally r more attracted to a mans personality than his physique. Its in their psychology. That hasnt been my experience which is part of why the way I look now but id say u somethin good there chicks like. Attraction isnt a choice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe guys are lucky. I have a hard time making eye contact with girls i find really attractive though. They also look mean tom to so i don't bother talking to them. Plus i feel i have zero chance. Does it matter how attractive she is? I mean will she not like me if I'm just average looking even If she loves my personality?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): A lot can trigger a girls attraction, wether it be their looks or their personality or even their interests or the way you act....Even if girls think your ugly (which you are most defiantly not) They can get to know you and develop an attraction.It's the long run you've got to worry about, The ones that originally think this are less likely to have a long term relationship with you. I believe it's essential to have a healthy balance between physical attraction and personality attraction. If it's leaning more towards one side it's likely that it won't last for a very long time.It may sound shallow but the ones that look at you and instantly want to know you because they are attracted to you are the girls that you should target. If they get to know you and love your personality it's a guaranteed win win!Other girls can still like you even if they think your ugly or ok.... they may even consider dating because they see a part of your personality that makes you stand out from the other guys. because girls can get turn on by a genuine amazing personality no matter how ugly they think they are.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): "Do girls think differently when it comes to being attracted to a guy or something? it's so confusing"
You answered your own question. We women ARE different in that way. It's been said many times that men are more visual than women, so of course that means physical appearance matters more to them. Most women do have their preferences for what they want a man to look like, but when it comes down to it, a woman can still become attracted to a man who isn't her "type" if he's got all the other qualities she's looking for. This doesn't happen as often with men, but it's not impossible.
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A
female
reader, uzer  +, writes (27 March 2013):
Unless one is stubbornly shallow, in the end people fall in love with a person's character, not the way they look (although that can always be part of what they fall in love with). Not all girls, or guys are one way or the other. Me, for example, I've found all of my partners attractive ESPECIALLY because of their personality, while others think they are physically unattractive. My best friend, on the other hand, can't see past a guy's height. If he's short, she won't date him no matter how compatible they are.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): Well, no duh. Females think about things differently than guys, especially because in high school females are still at either a higher maturity level, or simply a different place in their lives than most guys.You could not be ugly, after all we all have our preferences, and girls have different tastes in guys. At first impression, you might not be what girls are thinking they are looking for, but later they will realize that you are someone they are interested in. Your ways will persuade her. Hate to say it, but your friends sound kind of...shallow. You should be happy that girls end up finding you attractive after first impressions were deceiving. It means that you have an attractive personality and that you are more than just a pretty face, and were able to convince them you are worth something a lot more than simple good looks.We ladies like to consider more than just what you look like in people we want to be with, after all looks will fade and personality will stick around. It's who a person really is, that determines how a relationship will work out.Source: Life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): Yes in a realationship each person definitely has to have chemistry with each other. But I think personalaity can make or brake someone's looks. A guy could be really good looking but if he is a jerk then it makes him less attractive. And if a guy is just average looking bur they have a great personality then it makes him more attractive. Girls mature faster then boys so you and your friends haven't realized this yet. but enjoy high school and treat people how you want to be treated and have fun dating. Good Luck!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): You are right and quite perceptive. Girls tend to look at more than the outside. They don't seem to be as caught up on the visual attraction as we guys are. Not to say they don't care; but they tend to be a lot more likely to give a guy a chance to see what he's like, before totally rejecting him.You have a cool way of expressing yourself, just by reading your post. If you have a personality and interpersonal skills you make a lot of friends and you'll attract women as well. They tend to be drawn to confidence and outgoing personalities; and will make exceptions, even if the guy isn't all that handsome. Ever wonder what that fox sees in that troll dragging his knuckles on the ground? When you'll rarely see an Adonis with a plump girl. Money makes a difference in either case.Females seem to have built-in gag-dar for creeps, and give them the brush off immediately! They don't need that in the gene-pool. However; a brainy nerd has excellent earning potential, and will add intellect as a desirable trait. Females seem to know they're good providers, and won't reject them from the natural selection process. Smart nerds are less threatened by dominant females who are strong and make more money. They make a great combination. Intellect makes up for the lack of looks. Girls are smart about that. Although being a smart nerd may have many other disadvantages in dating. His accomplishments give him a leg-up over his natural dorkiness. Thus they still get women. Ever hear a girl say the dork in glasses is adorable?They are wired to see the inner AND physical strengths as nature intended; so they are more likely to have strong, intelligent, and vibrant off-spring. Their softer facial features often SAVE potentially ugly offspring, by providing that gene that will add good-looks to the list of traits.(This is a totally unscientific observation.)We are lead by modern media to believe that good looks are all you need. So when you are fed this bull 24/7, you come to believe it. Unfortunately; they're able to make billions under these false premises. Men being the more visual of the sexes, would place looks above anything else. All other traits are secondary. Therefore; the female of the species have to be attracted to those traits the male is likely to over-look.Don't get it twisted, girls ARE NOT willing to forgo looks when going through courtship for the proper mate. They want good-looking offspring as well, and it's easier to be intimate when your mate has it going on. They just know that there's more to a man than the eye can see. Mother Nature isn't stupid!Fortunately for us, I'd say!
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