A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Why do some people insist on being friends after a breakup? I mean ideally, that's a nice and very pretty idea. BUT, in reality, not the best decision in the world...My problem is that I told my ex I don't want to be friends with him because I still like him, but he is really making an effort to remain friends (to the point where he is trying to contact me, and I have been ignoring him repeatedly). At first, it was really annoying, but now I'm feeling sorry for him, and now I'm feeling bad...So does anyone have any idea why people do this? Is it just to keep the person around because you feel good about knowing someone likes you? (Which is completely messed up). Is it to keep them around for a back-up plan? Is it for the hope of having a FWB relationship? Or is it really because you REALLY want that person as a friend? I mean yes, it's sad to lose people in your life, but it seems like it just has to be accepted in certain cases... It's not like they're the only people in the world. I mean I would understand if this were mutual, but it just seems weird, and I don't want to have to play games. Am I even doing the right thing??Thank you in advance for your help! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): Sometimes they just want to keep receiving ego boosts and attention without having to go through all the responsibilities of a proper relationship.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): Exes insist on remaining "friends" to smooth over the end of the relationship.
Are they really still friends? Of course not. No one can move on to the next relationship while they're hanging out with an ex all the time. And if your ex insists on remaining friends and hanging out with you 24/7, there's a 99% chance it's a control thing and that they'll eventually want you back (unless they find someone better).
For sane exes, the "let's be friends" thing is a nice way of saying "I won't tell anyone you have a small dick if you don't tell anyone I have bacne (back acne)." In classy circles, this is referred to as basic civility.
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