A
male
age
36-40,
*r.answer4you
writes:Hello,My girlfriend and I have been dateing for 5 years, we had got preg our first 3 months of dating. I love her with all my heart and I do have control problems like I dont want her to leave the house without me, but the reason is we live in a bad area. Im worried she will leave me, but she says she never will. Im 22 and she is 23. I need help to ensure I dont lose her, I want to grow old with her. Does she need time away from me also? I dont want her going places with people because im scare one of her friends will get her to talk to another guy or she will cheat on me, please read this and give me some answers.thankyou Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): If you are protecting her, that is what you are supposed to do. You didnt say much, but you do sound controlling. She is 23, she needs space to be herself. Of course do family thing together, eat, sleep, movies, walks but let her do her own thing for a little while sometimes. Let her go with friends or just go get her nails done. She has a child and a man and shes only 23 she need to keep sight of herself. I am 22 my husband is 22 and he doesnt let me do ANYTHING ever. We have been together forever,6 years, and i have never been out with my friends alone, I have never stepped foot into a club or bar. I used to just deal with it and say "hey this is how he wants me to be" but now that i am older i see that it is not right. We have a 3 year old, the other day i spent saturday alone with him and it was great! Sometimes you really just need time to yourself and with your firends, to keep in touch with yourself. Hope this helps. I responded to this post because i wish i had done somthing about this earlier. If your girl feels that you are controlling and you continue this way she will start to resent you. That is the worst thing that could happen, so let her be herself. Let her go out a day a week on her own, to do what she wants. You sound like you have low self esteem, I think my husband does too. You shouldnt have to have a girl reassure you when you have doubts, that is what you should be doing yourself. People have different ways of expressing themselves so if she doenst show you she loves you the way you want her to, you need to do some growing within yourself. Does she ever question you leaving her? I dont ever question my husband yet he always thinks of reasons he thinks i would leave him. Its exahusting. You dont let this girl out? How would she leave you. But if you continue being controlling and unsure of YOURSELF (not your relationship) then she will end up leaving you. Confidence is sexy in a man. Think about it.
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