A
female
age
30-35,
*arnes66
writes:I know these people mean well but I'm not interested in making friends at work. I'm just there to do my job and that's it. I'm not saying I act anti-social. I still talk to my co-workers about gerenal stuff, joke around, But, I don't like to talk about my love life and stuff of that nature. It annoys me so much that sometimes I resort to ignoring some of them when they asks. They're even couple of ladies from work who periodically ask me when I'm getting married? Furthermore, I like to keep my personal life private and don't like to discuss it with colleagues or people I hardly know. How to deflate this questions?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (21 April 2016):
For the same reason a show like Jerry Springer has been on TV for two decades.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (20 April 2016):
 Oh that's just how people are. *Most* people are nosey, they like to interfere in others' lives, offer unsolicited advice and want to know everything about what the other person is doing.
I'll give you a few small examples of how annoying things can be and in fact WERE, with me.
I met my now husband in my place of work and before we started dating, a much older colleague of mine used to not waste a single chance, trying to tell me about him, about how he was always on the phone before he met me. "He had a steady girlfriend you know", she gasped. "And he hates talking to his colleagues and thinks no end of himself. Wonder why he doesn't get married". Now my poor husband had no girlfriend and on the few occasions that he WAS on the phone, it was with a friend or his brother. And in any case, how does it concern people who he was talking to? But clearly, it did.
Next: Family.
So I got married rather late, when I was 33. Extended family members didn't waste a single chance at taking digs at me, to question my decision of getting married late and once I did, started the barrage of extremely personal questions of "what are you doing with your life and when do you want to start having kids"? To say that I was irritated is an understatement. My life, my prerogative, my decisions. Who on earth are people to question me? But you see OP, as long as there is water in the oceans and stars up in the sky, they will. Not because they particularly want to or even care but because that's just how MOST people are.
They just love intruding into others lives and I think at some level its because they are crass, have nothing better to too, are unhappy in their own lives, are too interfering and derive a lot of pleasure in making others uncomfortable.
What do you do in situation like this? You just tell yourself that what cannot be cured has to be endured and when you're faced with an uncomfortable question, smile and ask, "why do you want to know"?
My husband is an extremely, extremely private person. He was often faced with questions about when he would get married and why he wasn't keen on getting married. He kept quiet for some time but when he was pushed beyond a point, he would very bluntly tell people that his personal life wasn't open for discussion. The next time someone asks you, just tell them, "I'm sorry I'm not comfortable talking about this. And you don't have to ask me again because whenever I get married, you'll get a card so you'll know".
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 April 2016):
 Just tell them that you are a very private person and want to keep it that way.
In this day and age of OVER-SHARING maybe they don't really understand the concept of not telling everyone private tidbits and honestly, that is their problem.
Ignoring them isn't going to work. Which is why I would just tell them that your private life is off limits.
There is nothing wrong in not wanting to share private things with co-workers.
If telling that them you like to keep your private life private and separate from work doesn't work, I'd just make the questions "irrelevant" by asking them something work-related instead.
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