A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi Everyone, I could use some advice. I'm having a difficult time coping with my ex boyfriend getting married and having a daughter. He was married in August and continue to see me casually until one day I found out he was married with a daughter on the way. We have stopped all communication and I am take it one day at a time dealing with my emotions. Why would he continue to see after he was married? Why didn't he have the common courtesy to tell me from the onset that he was getting married and having a baby? I could use your opinion.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2018): Yes. I was often verbally abusive towards him, and I was physically abusive towards him once. That is something I have worked on. It was kind of a grow spurt thing. I just evolved from that behavior.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 January 2018):
 You are MUCH better of without this guy.
Maybe knowing how he used you and betrayed his wife will make it easier to move forward.
Block him on everything. Don't even consider being "friends".
When you say you were aggressive towards him, do you mean you have/had anger issues? And is that something you have dealt with? Is it something you are working on? Because maybe THAT should be your focus, not this "blast from the past" who isn't worth your time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2018): Thanks everyone for the advice. Just to clear a few things up, I did not know he was engaged to be married, and he was having a baby. We split a over a year ago, because I was aggressive towards him. Then we reconnected and begin hanging out casually. And after a two months I learned he got married and was to have a little girl. I wouldn't do that. Again, thanks everyone for their advice.
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A
female
reader, holeymoley  +, writes (2 January 2018):
 What a jackass lowlife scumbag! that is if you had no idea he even had a fiancee, otherwise well.... either way be pleased hes not your problem but hers. If he comes back for a bit more on the side, more than likely he'd be sniffing around when she is all stressed and tired with a new baby- tell him he has exactly squat amount of time before you let his wife know where he is and what he's up to.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (2 January 2018):
 For whatever reason I can't fathom, he convinced you to end an actual relationship and continue a no-strings-attached Friend-with-benefits situation. By its very nature, "no strings" means NO STRINGS, meaning in his mind, he didn't owe you any details about his life.
I disagree, and I think it's foul, and I feel bad for his wife because she married a disgusting cheater from the get-go.
Now, you are feeling really upset because you had too many feelings into this relationship, and you were in no emotional state to carry on an arrangement which by its nature needs NOT to have feelings involved. You carried over the relationship claim and emotional strings, and he didn't.
This is the prime reason that once an ex is an ex, the ex should be DEAD to you, and if there are kids between you, any conversation should only be about them. Never carry on after a relationship ends. Having casual sex does not restore relationships!
That guy is slug slime.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 January 2018):
Oh and.. forgot to mention that he OWES the courtesy to tell his wife he is still seeing his ex (you), he doesn't owe you squat.
(again UNLESS he claimed to be single when still seeing you) Then he is just an asshat.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 January 2018):
Did you know he had a partner?
If you did and STILL saw him maybe he didn't think you would care. Seeing a guy with a GF or a wife is kind of the same to me. If a dude has a partner - he should be off limits.
If you didn't, well then learn from this. Your ex is a piece of work and you ought to block and delete this guy from your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2018): Thank you, Anonymous. And no Billy Bathgate, we didn't have sex, we would meet to talk.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2018): Yes I can imagine how that must have felt like a blow to you because it sounds as if you still like him and were maybe hoping for a reconciliation.We don't know exactly why he was still seeing you and didn't tell you about his marriage, but we can guess can't we?What other reason other than he still likes you, didn't want to scare you off or anger you by telling you and maybe he was hoping for a bit extra on the side.Well done for ending all communication with him. He has obviously chosen someone else and that must feel horrible if you still like him, but console yourself with the thought that he's not worth one second of your time because what sort of man behaves like this towards his wife?Just thank goodness that you're not married to him. How would she feel knowing that her husband is visiting his ex-girlfriend and pretending that she doesn't exist?At least you can get over him and be happy again whereas she is stuck with him. Poor woman. Think of him in this light and then put him behind you. Don't let him use you. Move on and pity his poor wife.
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (2 January 2018):
He continued to see you I assume because he was getting sex from you. He is a creep and you’re better off without him. Consider yourself lucky that you found out when you did.
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