A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Now my ex as of a few weeks before Christmas, I gave him,Christmas gifts, then the next day , it was over, haven't heard from him since, he didn't give me any gifts, my friends told me he should of given them back, cause he knew he was dumping me, what do you girls think, should I ask for them back, he was the type of guy who would rather be with his friends then me, he used me for sex, I never even met any his friends, or family, but it was only six months, we lived in different towns , twenty miles apart, we went to my bars not any of his hang outs, I paid for every thing, one night I spent at his condo, the next morning, he rushed me out,he said a friend was coming over, I feel so used, but I fell for him, and he probably will never think of me, should I call him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2018): I used to be a doormat years ago. Read Sherry Argov Why Men Love Btches. It’s a great read for those of us that have struggled with giving too much, too soon. Good luck!! Also cut contact with this jerk. Lesson learned.
A
female
reader, holeymoley  +, writes (2 January 2018):
 And if he says no? Just more annoyance and upset for you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 January 2018):
 A gift is a gift.
I'd say learn from this. Don't try and buy love. Don't date men who expect you to pay for everything and who doesn't treat you right.
You are OLD enough to know when you are being used.
Say that he used you for sex, well.. I don't know about that. If you didn't get anything out of it why did you keep having sex then?
And as for paying for everything... WHY do that? Was he a loser with no money, not job? Were you that desperate to have a partner?
Use some common sense. Don't date guys who sees you as an ATM. If the guy comes out for a drink but can't afford a drink for himself, then what's the point? I get that it's FINE to take turns paying for meals/drinks etc. but if you end up paying EVERY time, then you are being taken for a ride.
Be smart about it.
And don't buy gifts in a new relationship UNLESS you talk about giving/receiving and a price limit.
Learn from this and pick a better quality man next time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2018): Nope. Cut your losses and block him. Next time, wait until you're in an actual relationship before having sex. Hang out in GROUPS in PUBLIC first three weeks, no sex - just get to know each other. This will weed out men who don't care to get to know you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2018): No, no and no. Draw a line underneath it and move on. And next time, don't let yourself be used for sex and don't give more than you get, certainly in the first stages of a relationship.
He gave you lots of cues that he wasn't that interested and might well be using you i.e letting you pay for everything, never hanging out in his home town or meeting his family and yet you went along with it all and let him use you.
Yes he could have behaved better and not taken the gifts but going by his previous actions, I'm not surprised.
Next time make them work harder for your favour. If they're not interested in trying harder then you know they're not interested and when they are not behaving how you would like, leave. Don't buy them presents instead. That just makes you a pushover.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2018): Sorry you had to go thru this. In my opinion, I wouldn't call him back. I know you say you fell for him and it must hurt, but for your own dignity and self respect, do not reach out to him. Take care.
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