A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,i am 16 and recently lost my virginity to a lad that's 19 (he was not a virgin)im realy confused though, because it only lasted about 10 mintues, and when i asked him if he cumd, he sed nah he didn't, he was just giving me a 'tester' ? Do you think he didn't cum cus he knew it was my first time, and didn't want to go mad, cause then he asked me if it hurt alot, so was he just being careful with me? Do you think it was cause i didn't turn him on that he didn't come? Also, he wore a condom but im not on the pill, im late now, the condom didnt split and he didnt come, so theres not any way i could be pregnant is there? :SHelpp! Thanks :) x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (18 May 2010):
 You are 16 and legally able to have a sexual relationship with anyone you want. However, you should probably reserve such acts for boys that you are in the sort of relationship with that you can communicate with them. By asking these questions of the aunts and uncles here it suggests you don't have such communication with this boy. While the adult movie industry and hollywood might portray acts of passion as lasting for rather a long time, in the real world 10 minutes is probably average! Frankly if you start having intercourse for long periods of time then you get saddle-sore at the very least. If you are starting a sexual relationship then you need to see a doctor for a discussion about contraception. Basically condoms are reliable if used properly, but there is no such thing as 100% effective methods - all have a failure rate (usually down to human error). You can get pregnant without a man having ejaculated because the pre-ejaculate often contains sperm. However if the condom was used correctly then it is unlikely you are pregnant. Periods are sometimes irregular at your age and stress can impact on them. You can take a pregnancy test if you are really concerned.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 May 2010):
If he used a condom and it didn't split, then you shouldn't be pregnant. But I'd advise that you get yourself on the pill.
As for not coming, a guy doesn't always come. It's nothing to worry about. He was probably just being careful because it was your first time. Nothing to worry about.
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (18 May 2010):
 Oh my gosh! Sweetie, if you need to ask questions like this, then you're WAY too young to be having sex. I apologize in advance for what may seem brutal, but unfortunately, 10 minutes is a long time for some guys, you might as well know that now. A "tester"?? I confess I have no idea what that may be beyond a young,inexperienced guy trying to sound like anything but. He's 19 and says he didn't ejaculate during sex? BULL. At 19, guys are walking hormones forever on the look out for a way or excuse to ejaculate. It's incredibly unlikely that he didn't but denied it in effort to appear loftily experienced. (this is one of those weird guy-things that takes years to try to figure out, trust me) I don't quite get the "didn't want to go mad" thing, what does that mean, exactly? I'm pleased to know you were responsible enough to use a condom! ALWAYS do that NO exceptions for ANY reason.If the condom didn't break and was properly used then you're most likely in the clear. But mistakes can and do happen so be safe and use a back-up means of contraceptive. I don't think you should be so concerned about him over yourself really. At his age, he's more concerned about himself, anyway. You won't change that. Please be careful and seek out sex, contraceptive, and STD education based upon fact and not fumbling experience only. You won't regret it.
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