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Why did this happen to me? I am the opposite of a jerk!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 April 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 April 2011)
A male United States age 30-35, *ockshredder writes:

Hi everyone. I am one of you. A dear cupid reader and writer. Maybe some of you might recognize me. Today I am not able to hold myself together. Now it the end of my controls.

I am the guy who has been betrayed by the 1st love of my life with whom I devoted my every breath. I did absolutely everything for her and to make her feel special all these years. But I got betrayed. My story:

http://www.dearcupid.org/question/am-i-going-to-be-ditched.html

30 days have passed after that. I don't find refuge anywhere. It feels like I hate love now. No I am sure that I hate love. People use people and get used but I am the most unique example who has been honored by the privilege of getting ditched within 13 days after a magical drama of 1000 days. I know no one can help me. I don't dare to look at another girl with a feeling of friendship or calmness anymore. Next thought that comes is that "Forget it. She is so pretty. She is a bitch as well"

Why did this had to happen to me; with a guy 360 degrees opposite to what the world calls a Jerk. I can't help myself checking her facebook list and what I find is an addition of a new Bastard who kept persuing her all these 3 years when she was so called "committed to me". She has by now added 4 of those guys.

Will she be used and ditched like she did to me? What is my future? I am completely lost :'(

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A female reader, TEM United States +, writes (1 April 2011):

TEM agony auntIt is hard for you to think straight right now. Your feelings are still too raw. She broke your heart and you are in mourning. Feeling awful is exactly what you should be doing. It is the only way to heal.

It's a good thing that you don't want to think about other women. You are not ready to love yet. It will take some time to get over her, but you will get over her. In time you will see that she was not really the one for you.

It's always a heartbreak to lose your first love, especially one you spent three years with. That's a lot of time for someone your age. It's happened to me, as it has happened to many others here. From experience, I can say you will get through this, but it will take some time. You must grieve the loss of this relationship before you will be able to move on.

Some things you can do to make it a little easier on yourself at this time, is not to do things that trigger memories of her. To start, I would block her from facebook - you don't need a constant reminder of your pain.

Whether you believe this or not, you are still quite young. There are many girls out there that would love to be with a nice guy like you. When you are ready you will find one. In the meantime, be kind to yourself.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2011):

Listen here future boy! Your future can only be better. You've learned your lessens with this girl, you've seen what poeple can be like. The next time a girl comes into your life, you'll have a better understanding of relationships and be better prepared. You won't let anyone mess you around anymore!

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