A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:It was supposed to be one of the dorm parties they usually have and he (let's call him K) invited me and also my friend. K has tried to organize one specifically for us so we can go, since K found out I had never drunk and he wants me to try alcohol. He wants to be the first one to see me drink. Yesterday K called and asked me if we want to come, we went, and once we arrived K said there might not actually be a party, since they were out of drinks.Then two of K's friends came with a little of cinnamon whiskey left, and the friend said they welcome new people with a shot. K told them I had never drunk (I am pretty sure they already knew), so his friend offered me, but I didn't drink since 1. I drive, 2. I didn't want to drink, 3. I don't like cinnamon. All of them and my friend drunk a shot and the drink was over. Then I don't know why his friend asked us how me and my friend will rank K's looks 1 through 10. The friend was mostly looking at me, and I got confused and didn't know what to say (I think I like K, but I didn't want to say high close to 10, and didn't want to say low), and I said the worst thing ever: negative infinity (K and me with my friend are math majors), but I wanted to say positive infinity - eehhh, confusion :( . I did tell him later I didn't think he is negative infinity. He said they were just joking around.However, during the whole time K was very tense and nervous, 2 other friends joined, talked with us for a while and all of them asked him why he was quiet and sitting in a very nervous way. They said K was different because he usually talks a lot, which I noticed too cause usually he is really relaxed around people and like K says he doesn't give a s***. He sat very uncomfortable and didn't say much while his friends were there, then when we were alone he would have to talk otherwise it was me and my friend (my friend was doing the most talking though). And then when we decided to go home, the way he got up off his sit looked like a military person standing straight up in front of his supervisor.Also, a lot of the times when we study and we talk about something he usually looks at me and not my friend. Like we were talking about atomic bomb and death two days ago while studying, and my friend shows us a picture of a shadow of a person who died because of the explosion of atomic bomb. And K suddenly said, what if that guy was unhappy before that moment, but he finally found the girl he loved, and he finally found a way of telling her about it, because he is bad at talking to girls and the girls is bad at talking to guys, but she loves him and he loves her, and he finally found a way of telling her, and that he got his phd in finance and proved a theorem in math (K actually thinks of getting phd in finance and he is a genius in math), and his life would finally be great, but then he dies in such a way.... and the whole time K was telling this story, he was only looking at me, he never looked at my friend.When we study and sit close, sometimes our knees touch accidentally but he never moves away. He knows I dance, and once he said he wants to take dancing classes, and that we should take it together. 2 days ago we were having lunch after studying and he started talking about his plans, like getting married 3 times all to models and he should practice his skills with girls from today so in ten years he is ready to meet his first wife, maybe just kidding around, but he did say he has very high standards, that the girl will have to be either good looking and very very interesting, or very very good looking and interesting. Maybe I am not confident in myself but I don't think I am either one of his standards, though my body has a very good shape, and if I lose just a few pounds I'd have the perfect body which I used to have, but I don't have time to think about it now because of school being very busy. And in terms of interesting I can't say anything, because I think there is so much to know and I always need to learn new things. Once I am comfortable with people around me I am usually funny and make people laugh, but before getting comfortable I am very nervous. Also I am 5 years older than K, he is 20, and this age difference is freaking me out, because I think I like him, and he is very mature and super interesting person to talk.Help me understand why he would act so nervous and tense? Thanks a lot :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2014): OP
Thanks @RubyBirtle :)
Yes, he did wonder why his friend was discussing him. I don't think K expected that
I did actually suggest him to go dancing, not just him though. When he said we should have the party which was going to be on Thursday, I said what if instead of the party you and your friends do something different, like come to salsa dancing (which is also on Thursday), and his answer was 'hm, maybe yes, no, yes, no party'.
He did invite me and my friend to another party yesterday through text, saying his friends were inviting us, but it was late and I was already sleeping.
Thanks again for your answer :) I'll see how things develop
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2014): OP
Thanks a lot for the feedback :) though I am too shy to initiate something
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (15 November 2014):
It does sound like he fancies you but that he's a bit shy and awkward when it comes to crunch time. He might have preferred to chat to you alone but not known how to do that with all your/his friends around. Even though it was just a bit of witty banter, maybe he DID feel uncomfortable having his looks discussed by you and his mates - it's probably not how he saw the whole evening panning out! Perhaps the friend that started this conversation was having a little underhand dig at him.If you like this guy and want something romantic to develop between you to, try to get him on a date. Or at least something where it's just the two of you.Why not ask him dancing again? No vague suggestions or hinting that you may like to do it "someday" - just ask him"Hey K, you know you said you were interested in learning to salsa? There's a class at such-and-such-a-place on Friday evening, would you like to come with me? We could go for coffee afterwards." (or words to that effect.)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2014):
Aww it deffanatly sounds as if K fancies you without a doubt, so I think you should be responsive when he makes comments like his interested in you. I think you should be confident and say little comments to him as well that show your interested in him too. It sounds as If he may be shy, so you may have to get the courage to be the forward one. Maybe that's why K is trying to get you to have a drink so you can both loosen and open up easier to each other. You are both just to shy of each other lol.
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