A
male
age
36-40,
*harger
writes:Ok so I met this girl a few years ago on a dating site and went out for a couple weeks then I kinda pushed her away and stopped talking.However a few weeks ago I came across her again on the site and said hi and apologized how I acted back then. She gave me her number again with out me asking. So we've messaged a little bit for a couple weeks. We were supposed to hang out yesterday or earlier today but she couldn't find a baby sitter. I asked her if she wanted to see me and she said yes. So I asked if I could call her earlier tonight and she said yes so I asked when and she said after she puts the kids to bed. I called but she didn't answer then I texted her and she didn't reply. Why would she say she wants to see me and says i could call her but the not answer my call? If I text her tomorrow what should I say with out being too pushy?
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male
reader, Charger +, writes (16 August 2012):
Charger is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess her girl friend got dumped last night and that's why she didn't answer when I called her. So when should I ask her again to go out?
A
male
reader, Charger +, writes (16 August 2012):
Charger is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI didn't treat her bad back then we only were hanging out for a few weeks then she told me her mom and best friend said she should also see other guys. So I kinda took that bad and basically pushed her away. I'm a nice guy and treat ppl good so it really bothers me when girls ignore me. My last ex she never officially broke up with me cause she just stopped talking to me. I like the truth to me that's better then ignoring. I don't get it cause the first day we were supposed to hangout she went shopping that day at Victoria's secret and bought underware and bras and sent me a pic with her bra on. I mean why send that and say she does want to see me but doesn't want to bring the kids as a tag along for the first time she sees me in years. I get she can be busy cause of 2 kids and stuff. I just don't want to give up to easily.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2012): I'd not read too much into it. Just give it a little space for a day or two. If you hear from her great. If you don't hear from her, then I'd say send one last text and say "I really enjoyed connecting with you. If you are interested, i'd love to hear from you. If not no pressure and best of luck."
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (16 August 2012):
 Maybe she is getting her own back for the way you treated her back then? You were hot and cold with her a few years ago, so perhaps she is giving you a taste of your own medicine.
Or alternatively she may have changed her mind about seeing you and this is her way of ending it - it is a bit cowardly but many people take the easy option when it comes to ending relationships, they will just ignore the other person until they get the messgae. It seems that might be what is happening here I'm afraid.
I would leave it now and write it off as a bad experience and move on. Clearly you messed her around before, now she is messing you around it all sounds too difficult when in fact you should just be enjoying getting to know each other and not playing games. If it is this hard so early in the relationship its only going to get worse, so the best thing you can do is let it go, see if she does text back and if not move on.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2012): Perhaps the kids were playing up about going to bed?
Maybe she fell asleep herself?
Before initiating the next contact, I would give her chance to respond to your last text message and see what she says.
If you message her again before she responds, you will come across as pushy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2012): She's probably decided she doesn't want to see you. Why would she say otherwise? Because some people, and women in particular consider it politer to say yes than to say no. Maybe when she got to the point of actually having to go through with seeing you rather than text or talk on the phone, she decided she couldn't go through with it.
It's big of you to apologize for pushing her away, and it's big of her to accept even communicating with you after the fact...but I suspect that's the reason why she's being so cagey.
No offense to you, but if she's raising kids solo and their father's decided he doesn't want to be part of her life, shes probably reluctant to let another person in her life who isn't sure about her. I would let her call you, but I wouldn't hold my breath. Good luck.
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