A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyoneThis isn't so important just something that really confuses me.My ex-girlfriend broke up with me 2 years ago. The relationship had become long distance, she had changed, she insulted me a lot, I was not happy at all. so when one day she decided to break up with me, i shed a tear but there was a sense of relief.However, she told to tell me that she wanted a temporary break until the distance was solved. She told me to not tell my parents, not tell my friends and even tried to make me feel guilty about a month later for not being in touch saying she was scared of "losing me" and got upset when she saw a photo of me with another girl who was just my friend. She continued to tell me she loved me for about 2 weeks after the break up and talked to me the same way as always.This was in March. I was able to move on quickly as I had wanted to end the relationship just I didn't have the courage.In July i discovered she had a new boyfriend, i wished her well but told her that it was wrong to lie to me and she told me that she met the boyfriend after we had been broken up for some weeks and she was sad about being alone.However 2 years to the day she broke up with me, her boyfriend posts online that it is their 2 year anniversary. So she started with him on the same day as she broke up with me which means she probably had been cheating, at least mentally if not physically and then lied to me for 6 months and even tried to make me feel guilty if i got close to other girls.Yesterday I told her that I knew her anniversary coincided with the day she broke up with me, and it was ok and not important anymore. I hadn't spoken to her for 6 months but she had sent me a few messages lately that I hadn't had time to get back to.She told me that in her defense she found someone who could be closer to her, so i said i understand, its a difficult situation and perhaps she chose to lie to me as she didn't want to hurt my feelings too much straight away.Her response is what confused me, she said I was being so cruel, seemed upset and begged me to stop talking about it. She then said she recognizes her faults and has no regrets as she is happy.Considering the fact I was basically saying "I know you lied but I forgive you" I have no idea why she reacted in this way. Does anyone have any light they can shed on the situation?FYI I am now happily with another girl and have been for about 9 months. I have no interest in this girl other than the fact I wanted her to know I could see through her lies but I no longer care enough to make a deal out of it.
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anniversary, broke up, ex girlfriend, long distance, move on Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 March 2017):
 Yeah she reacted that way because she knows she was using you and telling you lies to make herself feel better, and now that you know the truth she is trying to turn on the water works so you feel bad. She is playing mind games with you. Honestly you are better having no contact with this girl.
A
female
reader, Campari Milano +, writes (6 March 2017):
You know that she didn't want to sever ties with you immediately in case it didn't work out with the new bloke. You sound like a sensitive soul, so she was probably planning to come running back to you if it didn't work out. I'm sorry but it's true, and you know that.What you may not yet know is that when you have been in love with someone, even if they are manipulative and awful, or selfish and cruel, or even just plain wrong for you; you will always love them. In some way. ALWAYS!.You need to come to terms with the fact that she behaved badly; she doesn't want you; and you don't want her. Part of you will always love her.And now it's time to do the rest of your life!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (5 March 2017):
 She is mad that you called her out for being not only a liar but possibly a cheat. She doesn't like that you put a "mirror" in front if her, so to speak.
If I were you I'd' cut the contact with this girl. She is an ex-gf, and an ex-gf who didn't treat you right to boot. WHY keep her around? Let go of her (mentally and every other way) and let her fade into the past. Focus in your life as it is today. And honestly? NO keeping exes in the picture when you have a new relationship, it's not really fair to a new partner to keep dragging the past around, know what I mean?
And maybe you also got a little bit of closure or relief knowing that her behavior at the end of the relationship had nothing to DO with you, all ALL to do with HER and what SHE was actually doing behind your back.
I say good for you in calling her out now let it go! Don't waste any more thoughts or energy on this girl. There is no need. And good luck with your new GF and relationship.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2017): She might still have feelings for you and is saddened by how things turned out.
She might be reacting the way she is because you called her out on what she'd done, she thought she'd got away with it and doesn't like the fact you know the truth.
Or, and this is what I believe to be the case- based on the little insight into her personality that you gave- she is controlling and manipulative. She called the shots then, she's trying to call the shots now.
As wiseowl says- don't dwell on it. Keep moving on. I think you dodged a bullet there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2017): I say just forget about her and anything she says. Focus on the one you're with. You're happy now, and if you've really gotten over her and moved on like you say; nothing she says or does should matter anymore.
Exes belong buried in the past with your old relationships. Enjoy your present and future. She's history.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2017): "I have no interest in this girl other than the fact I wanted her to know I could see through her lies but I no longer care enough to make a deal out of it."
If you no longer care enough to make a deal about it then you wouldn't have contacted her.
Like too many people, she is a coward who avoids accountability for her actions; she lies and denies, and if that doesn't work she throws blame back to you.
Your ego wants the satisfaction of her admitting she was wrong, and that will never happen. In the meantime, she has the satisfaction of knowing she's still under your skin and ready to be taken advantage of whenever it might suit her purposes.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (5 March 2017):
 If you no longer care, don't bother with her any more. Let go. Move on.
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