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male
age
41-50,
*hepinkninja
writes: When I met my so she was seeing a guy just as a hook up. Take note she had been hooking up for 6 years racking up around 600 men. She was dealing with a lot of life trauma and drugs and sex were her distraction from life.Anyway when we first got together and this guy contacted her she only told him she couldn't meet because she was working. I said I wasn't happy about that and she told him the following day about me and said she couldn't do it anymore.She wouldn't delete her snapchat blokes which apparently were all guys she slept with.thos went on for a while and we argued a lot.6 months in she changes her number and tells me it's because she just wants to. I believe she may have been in contact with the original guy or other guys and after 6 months decidednit was time to stop.She lying and saying she deleted the sc guys when she didnt she admitted after getting rid of snapchat guys that she found it hard to give up snapcaht not the blokes but all of it as she had lived that life for so long and didn't think I was gonna stick around.She refuses to change her position on why she changed her number and says she has never cheated on me and never communicated with any other men. She has loved me from day 1 but didn't believe I would stick around as she is so fucked in the head.I don't believe the phone number change was just because she wanted to, do you think my concerns are valid or am I being paranoid.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 November 2023):
 I think you should perhaps reconsider WHY you are with her in the first place.
You don't trust her.
And probably because she has quite the background.
Are you staying with her because you love her? Or because you feel you have to "prove" her wrong?
Personally? I think she changed her number so guys from her past can't find ways to get in touch, but I could be wrong.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2023): Drop her. You can't turn a ho into a housewife. If she's changed her clays and wants you to believe it, she owes you transparency. Nothing less. If she's going to change her life, she has to give up all aspects
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2023): I would ask you this:
WHY, oh why, do you have such a person in your life?
However if for some reason you insist on having such a person as a partner, you need to accept her the way she is.
You will NEVER know when she lies.
You can either accept what she says and not think about it, or leave.
Liars lie.
Cheaters cheat.
Addicts abuse their substances of choice (including men).
Nobody changes over night. it takes a lot of work AND THERAPY.
Some people like having some stability in their lives (stable partner) while they go of and do what they like (even when they feel bad about it). And of course they will do anything (lie, cheat, manipulate) to keep teh status quo. And if they are successful taht means that they found a partner ready to play THEIR game. If it means that soemtimes they need to put up with their partners' "paranoia" so be it. Some even confuse jelousy and paranoi with love, but they mostly know that they've got their partner hooked.
So, there you go.
You keep making teh choice of staying with her and having to worry abouut her problems. Google codependency.
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