A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok my ex just dumped me today because she had not gotten over her ex. we went out for 4 days and i really loved her. when she dumped me i asked her if she would go back out with me but she replied maybe but also she said she does not know if she will ever get over her ex. i kept texting her saying things like i love you and i cant live without you but she replied you will have to. she said we can still be friends but why did she go out with me in the first place if she has not gotten over her ex yet. and also when she dumped me she said i deserve better. will i ever get her back and does she need time to what she wants. please help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): She isn't interested in you like that and doesnt return your feelings. When she said you deserve better it means she can not return your feelings and you would always care more for her than she will for you, which is not fair to you. Therefor she wants you to be with someone else. She could have gone out with you because she thought she was over her ex, but after only 4 days she was able to find out that she was not ready to date again. She was quick to find out! After 4 days into a relationship you are no where near being steady and official. In fact I count that a relationship must have lasted at least two weeks before I even count it as a relationship, and barely that. You guys dated, she wasn't that into it. A shame you fell for her so hard and so fast, but some people are ready to give away love fast, so maybe you are one of those. But most people are not like you and I am sure she wasn't aware when she first started dating you that you would develop feelings so soon. She probably broke it off because she knew she wouldn't be able to return those strong feelings, at least not after only 4 days. You went ahead a little too fast and expected too much.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (24 January 2010):
Bloody hell. You're saying you love her and can't live without her after 4 days?
It's no wonder the poor girl is freaked out.
She may have wanted to test herself and see if she was ready for something small, and you came in like a tidal wave and started planning the wedding.
You have to learn to take things slowly, and let feeling build rather than getting so serious so soon.
Cut contact with her and move on. It's sad but you can do it.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2010): You love her in four days? That would scare me.
That said, lots of people go out and date other people immediately after a break up. This is to feel good and attractive. Then they realise that there are stored up feelings that need to be dealt with and they back off for a bit.
I don't think she thought she was causing lasting damage in four days... but obv you do. go out and find someone else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2010): You might be coming on to her too strong. If shes still got some feelings for her ex, be kind and try to understand. If you are there as a mate she will enjoy your company and learn to value you without the pressure you might be causing by saying you love her ect.
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