A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone! So I recently just got out of a yearlong distance relationship with another woman. I was half her age and was the older one in the relationship and she was also the “man” as well. She lives in another country and even has a fiancé of many many years w 4 kids too. When the 3sum didn’t end up working out she wanted to continue talking sexually with me and since her man was fine with it I had no problems with it either. I would call her daddy and she would call me her baby girl etc and we really did have a special connection when we were first involved for say the first four to five months were heated! Like we we’re very interested in each other a lot but now here’s where my question will come in. It’s not a question about why did she cheat but why did she cheat the way she did k? So like I said it was almost a year now and I found out she was cheating on me with a guy and not only was he a guy he also looked exactly like me and lived in my town! So I was told that I was her first serious gf and that guys were ok so if we had a rule that guys were ok then why did she hide it? Also I am thinking she might be bi curious and just told me she was gay because she’s exploring her true self? Also to cheat on me w a man that looks just like me but is a man and also lives in my same town too like what!? Lol. I can see why she cheated cuz we did fight a lot towards the end and the age difference too etc but why she do it like this? Any opinions or answers would definitely be helpful and I would greatly appreciate it too!! Ty. I hope that I get some kind of answers or something to make me understand her reasoning for why she had to do it in this way etc. ????? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah I know it’s done now and even if we don’t remain friends which I doubt it cuz I just know lol. I am older and more paitent but she worries way too mich about what other people think about her and so many reasons actually. Like her getting jealous if I am w a guy etc. I already know she is but she didn’t care when she was with someone while still with me! Double standards! So many red flags but fk it I want her to see me happy and that I really did move on etc cuz now she’s got no one and just trying to hold onto me cuz of my huge heart etc but nope she can see just how much better I have changed and that she wasn’t worth that much sadness and then I am just going to be me like always and try to help her so she doesn’t keep ruining every relationship or how she goes about them etc. I know she doesn’t deserve to even talk to me but I care way too much and that’s my problem
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI honestly thought we were going to have a 3sum but she told me she was gay and as she said “I knew I would of regretted this!” Saying that and all kinds of things that made me confident in her being completely gay and I even felt bad for her too! She acted and talked like a man when intimate too. I really believed for some time that she was gay and really wanting a relationship with me but I soon started getting suspicious cuz even tho we were lying to her man to protect her from being hurt and all her lies I believed and I still got some of our old conversations too just so people will believe me like for real I know it sounds crazy but this really all happened. So the red flags came just by some of her behavior and my intuition was telling me something ain’t right. With this being said I honestly believe I was tricked into believing she was gay so she could cheat w me on her fiancé and with her knowing who I am cheating on either end was not cool with me at all. I did apologize to him but he didn’t really seem to care and she told me it was because he was cheating but I can just tell by looking at him that he’s not like that but ya never know. Tho I did find out that they had a 3sum before and it didn’t go so well and he was afraid of jealousy n all that happening. I still don’t know all the truth about him but I do know that I was cheated on while we were still involved and saying I love you and all that bs she said to me. I do believe she did have strong lust cuz many of her friends confirmed that I was her first gf but I hope that I cleared up any misunderstandings and I am willing to answer any more questions too. Also feel free to send me a msg if you have a direct question that you don’t feel is needed for the post or for those who want to hurt when people are hurting because you never know until you ask and I don’t blame anyone especially where I type so fast and a lot I can see why some people don’t finish reading or simply over looked etc. ok thanks again everyone!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk so to make things more clear. We were not broken up when she cheated on me. We did makeup n break up a lot but believe me it only lasted a few hours not even cuz her or I would be all sorry and that’s how things were going after the honeymoon phase was over. I still got I love you text all the time especially every morning and night. I noticed a change in her behavior and she had a new excuse every time. Deep down I had a feeling she was cheating on me so I dumped her. Then we got back together again of course we did. I found out and she denied until I showed her some proof and she admitted it and was crying n all. So she bought me things to try n fix things but I didn’t even notice that I was being mean to her and in a way I never was before with her. She told me and I apologized and I said well you cheated on me behind my back for 3 months telling me you love me and everything else while doing the same with someone else and then I said honestly I cannot even talk to you now especially after this. She then denied cheating at all and it got me really angry cuz I hate being lied to by someone who says they love me and I made it clear that I was really done for real. Then she started flipping out and all that. I was hurt and I do still have feelings I ain’t going to lie but I cannot forgive her for this no way! I saw with my own eyes. So we haven’t talked after that and having her friends msg me about why did I block her n all bs and then I got a few msgs that I did not read from her and it stayed that way until yesterday actually. Well she’s been trying to reach out and I was her first woman that she ever was involved with in a romantic way etc so I read what she was writing. Long story short it was mostly her begging me to at least talk to her and how I am her first etc etc. I thought about everything. I know I am 10 years older than her and I knew deep down we would never be together as a real life couple etc so I said ok look I am over everything and I do still care but if we do talk we are just friends and nothing more than that ever and I hope you understand that and if you cannot than you should respect my wishes or not. She agreed to be friends and was happy. I also said we need rules too. I don’t think it was a wise decision but part of me still cares but now it’s mostly about her life choices and maybe I can help her and give her some advice so that she can be happy with the right person. I think she’s too immature esp at her age and she still has a lot to learn as far as relationships and boundaries etc. I’m not saying everything was her fault cuz I know I am not perfect but I was really good to her and I don’t think anyone else will treat her the way I did because of how she is. I had a talk with her about it too and she nodded during our vc that certain things she did wouldn’t be ok with most people and it was ok with me because we are both woman and I am older too and I knew we won’t be together forever despite the strong connection. She is upset now cuz I am involved with a man now but see I have been broken up with her for a good time now and I was so hurt that I wanted to rebound and he knows everything and he knows that I still have some feelings and I even asked him first if he would be ok with me being her friend and he said whatever you want but I definitely want to hear about it when he comes home n I have nothing to hide especially my phone and am glad it’s not long distance and with someone I know through a close friend as well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk so I do have an update for those who are interested. So I ended up finding out from mutual friends in which they msgd me without me telling them or asking them anything either and they said how they found out that she cheated and I said yeah I already know etc n how I appreciated their sympathy and support etc and I was even shown that she ended up finding out how I felt before because the new guy found out something or figured her out because he is making it obvious from his post I was shown about the b!$#% lied to me and I found out she is fkn engaged and all kinds of stuff and I was honestly happy because she deserved it and I don’t know if he knew about me but I even feel bad for him too cuz from how upset he was she apparently had him thinking she was totally single and I definitely don’t want him being hurt any farther either ya know? So I said good she finally knows how it feels and she does too cuz I was told how she was crying like all hell n blaming me n telling everyone that I broke her heart but I’m reality she broke her own heart by continuously cheating and us catching onto her and of course she’s not going to admit to her fiancé who really hurt her which was the guy she cheated on and it all just disgust me now and feel like she’s just an animal who’d sleep with anyone who has black hair n blue eyes man or woman! Lmao #complete A
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2019): Way too much drama, it's done, there is too much water under the bridge, let it go, let her go, none of it is worth it.
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (6 January 2019):
 You’re not really acting like a mature 30 - 35 year old. You were with someone. They weren’t single. You broke up. You’re hurting. Gradually move on. Don’t get bitchy or immature in return.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk so I do have an update for those who are interested. So I ended up finding out from mutual friends in which they msgd me without me telling them or asking them anything either and they said how they found out that she cheated and I said yeah I already know etc n how I appreciated their sympathy and support etc and I was even shown that she ended up finding out how I felt before because the new guy found out something or figured her out because he is making it obvious from his post I was shown about the b!$#% lied to me and I found out she is fkn engaged and all kinds of stuff and I was honestly happy because she deserved it and I don’t know if he knew about me but I even feel bad for him too cuz from how upset he was she apparently had him thinking she was totally single and I definitely don’t want him being hurt any farther either ya know? So I said good she finally knows how it feels and she does too cuz I was told how she was crying like all hell n blaming me n telling everyone that I broke her heart but I’m reality she broke her own heart by continuously cheating and us catching onto her and of course she’s not going to admit to her fiancé who really hurt her which was the guy she cheated on and it all just disgust me now and feel like she’s just an animal who’d sleep with anyone who has black hair n blue eyes man or woman! Lmao #completeanimal #Imgood100%
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGood questions and I will explain more. So I was dating mostly men on n off since my divorce and my divorce really messed me up and I had gotten depressed because of it. I ended up talking to this girl from a game and I again felt used. We only sexted for one night but still that’s not how I go about intimacy and I really only hooked up with like two other women in my life but also felt empty then as well because esp growing up I couldn’t admit what happened ya know? So when this girl from out of nowhere started flirting with me and making me feel really good sexually I just assumed that it wasn’t going to end right then either and I wouldn’t even have sexted w her if I knew her true intentions but I also assumed that with us both being woman that it doesn’t work like that but now with a better understanding she probably wasn’t even out of the closet still. So anyways and sorry again for typing so much but I feel I need to explain better ya know? K so after that happened I was so hurt and I knew I had to get over her n fast too so I decided to go on FB and look for bi n gay woman to reach out too and have a shoulder to lean on and part of me also wanted to continue with another woman as well because it did feel pretty amazing especially knowing that it’s so forbidden lol n no lie the first woman I decided to randomly msg about all that was of course you all know who. She did comfort me and said things like I’d never hurt you baby girl and all bs as we all know now but back then I was hurt and I went searching basically to continue being hurt but like I said it wasn’t how I was seeing things back then which was a year ago too. Lol k so we basically clicked and hit it off and fast too. I should of known then that that wasn’t normal either but I let it happen cuz it felt good to have someone understand and hear what I want to hear etc n tho we know it was all lies now but I believed her. I chose her cuz I saw we had a lot in common and I did see that she was in a relationship/a serious one too considering they just had gotten engaged and I knew they were going to ask me for a 3 sum n I was planning on going along with it just to keep her close cuz she really was a totally different person then too and I felt like she really cared etc. So when her man did get involved I realized that she was testing me actually cuz I said to her one day that I honestly am not that into him like he’s not my type but he’s a really good guy tho and good looking but I’m more into big muscle men and he just I don’t know like I wasn’t feeling it. That’s when she said good cuz I’m not anymore either and she was like so it really is a thing between me and you and not him? She even got paranoid and thought I was a catfish or something so we video chattied and it actually made me feel good thinking that she really didn’t believe that I was as into her or not who I was saying I was in my profile pics and I felt it was more the other way around but not going to lie it did boost my self esteem. So I said well I guess we can be close friends if ya man is ok w it of course and if I have to flirt w him for you I will and she was so happy when I said that and deep down I knew what was going down wasn’t right but figured well tho they are recently engaged they have been together since like forever and w all the kids at such a young age too I could see why they would want to spice up the relationship but as far as her wanting to completely cheat in which she knew I wasn’t interested in it on either end so I think that’s why she told me this sad sap story about how she is really gay and all that bs just to keep me around to make her feel better or she’s crazy or just very sexual or like ya’s said she’s just a straight up player!! So I ended up falling for her more “knowing” the “truth” and I even felt bad for her too. She said I love you first and she wrote me poems and I always got a good morning baby girl or beautiful every morning and every night. I noticed I was getting out of my depression more and she was gaining more self esteem and this is what it all seemed like to me n what was said to me so we really don’t know the whole truth but I think we can all agree that I was played harder than even her poor man or whatever he is now. So yeah I really was feeling this way and believed in mostly everything she told me too. Ok so as for your other question so basically I believed she truly was who she was saying she was and I figured that was ok cuz I get it. I mean now after you all told me what I really needed to hear I am so over her cuz you are all so right etc but I will admit I still did have some feelings after finding out and she refused to even let me go. It was also my first time breaking up with someone too. I basically was like look you cheated and I know and you now even admitted it and I even said I can’t even stand you anymore cuz all you do is lie and you drive me crazy. She then wrote back saying she never cheated and only admitted to it cuz I wouldn’t let it go til she did but the truth was that I was so smooth n especially after her cheating on me n lying and just everything made me so upset and disgusted with her that I decided to play the role of an inteigater lol I made it appear and I mean I really had her convinced that I had way more information than I really did but even still with what I had was cheating regardless of I pressed her to finally admit something for once. Then I was like I don’t understand you? You always said guys were ok but whenever I would get a reaction from any guy no matter who she’d flip n I get it cuz she was the “man” but she definitely wasn’t a man when she was talking behind my back to someone else while I was mailing her n her family gifts for Christmas and I even said no fuck you Ashley! Ya used me n I will never buy a man a gift again until we are together for a year cuz I spent a lot of money cuz I love kids n I have a daughter myself but how dare her cheat on me and accept all these things and yeah she sent me stuff too but one thing I did want back because no way I am letting her keep an expensive jacket when she was just using me ya know? So she was like I got your box and I even bought you a necklace and everything too but I still will do that for you even tho I didn’t do anything baby I swear. Then I couldn’t take it and I said shove everything up ya a$$ and I sent her a link to a song that basically call her an evil woman and she got pissed. I hope that covered everything and if not I have no problem answering or explaining more cuz I know it’s complicated and I’m sure it’s a lot to take in for some. I guess I still worry cuz tho I am still confused about why she decided to cheat on me w who she did and I don’t know like I feel ppl were putting thoughts in her head that were false cuz once everyone saw two pretty girls getting all lovey dovey on FB it felt like on both sides friends and family couldn’t stand it! Lol for real so we couldn’t even be on FB anymore and she’s really family oriented and I can see her not wanting to lose her friends and family especially at her age cuz when I was in my early 20’s I always care way too much what other people thought and I forgot where I was going with that but k so basically am still having a hard time taking this all in and she isn’t acting like she’s moved on and even posts pics of her crying and even some really serious post too like about ending her life and I don’t regret anything I said that was mean to her cuz she obviously deserved it but I almost fell for her lies again and thanks to you all she is now completely blocked and I don’t care anymore cuz she obviously didn’t care about me til she knew I wasn’t going to come back and there’s even more crazy stuff to this story too n ya’s wouldn’t believe but basically I got what I so needed to hear and am so greatful that I didn’t fall back into her trap again. That’ also was bothering me too like we would fight n say such evil things and every time I went back I noticed it only got worse each time and am so danm greatful that she’s completely gone now and no matter what I promise I will not talk or respond to her nothing. I guess it’s just a lot to handle especially when I found out on Christmas Day of all days and it was hard for me but I am good and if anything I made it clear that I moved on cuz I didn’t continue to go back like I used to and I promise you all I will stick to it too. She only lied n denied her entire life I feel and I made it clear that she is not allowed to hurt me in that way. I was proud of myself but not going to lie I still had some feelings after it all fell apart and especially on Christmas it didn’t help. Thanks again and like I said I am very open and I don’t mind answering any questions or comments cuz maybe it will help someone else who reads this and it does help getting it all out of my system and I finally feel like I have a better understanding and also a relief to just tell my feelings without feeling bad about doing so either.
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reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (5 January 2019):
You were having an affair, not a relationship. It really hurts, but you chose it. You’ve learnt your lesson and will hopefully start to heal soon. Please get therapy to help you with your feelings about your divorce because getting into an affair is self-destructive. Remember: if you wouldn’t want someone to cheat on you, don’t be with a cheater or be a mistress for someone else.
For what it’s worth, I am sorry it hurts. It’s of your own making, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t upsetting. That’s why I think therapy would be good for you, so you don’t put yourself in positions like that again. Escapism is only healthy when it’s not self-sabotaging.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGood questions and I will explain more. So I was dating mostly men on n off since my divorce and my divorce really messed me up and I had gotten depressed because of it. I ended up talking to this girl from a game and I again felt used. We only sexted for one night but still that’s not how I go about intimacy and I really only hooked up with like two other women in my life but also felt empty then as well because esp growing up I couldn’t admit what happened ya know? So when this girl from out of nowhere started flirting with me and making me feel really good sexually I just assumed that it wasn’t going to end right then either and I wouldn’t even have sexted w her if I knew her true intentions but I also assumed that with us both being woman that it doesn’t work like that but now with a better understanding she probably wasn’t even out of the closet still. So anyways and sorry again for typing so much but I feel I need to explain better ya know? K so after that happened I was so hurt and I knew I had to get over her n fast too so I decided to go on FB and look for bi n gay woman to reach out too and have a shoulder to lean on and part of me also wanted to continue with another woman as well because it did feel pretty amazing especially knowing that it’s so forbidden lol n no lie the first woman I decided to randomly msg about all that was of course you all know who. She did comfort me and said things like I’d never hurt you baby girl and all bs as we all know now but back then I was hurt and I went searching basically to continue being hurt but like I said it wasn’t how I was seeing things back then which was a year ago too. Lol k so we basically clicked and hit it off and fast too. I should of known then that that wasn’t normal either but I let it happen cuz it felt good to have someone understand and hear what I want to hear etc n tho we know it was all lies now but I believed her. I chose her cuz I saw we had a lot in common and I did see that she was in a relationship/a serious one too considering they just had gotten engaged and I knew they were going to ask me for a 3 sum n I was planning on going along with it just to keep her close cuz she really was a totally different person then too and I felt like she really cared etc. So when her man did get involved I realized that she was testing me actually cuz I said to her one day that I honestly am not that into him like he’s not my type but he’s a really good guy tho and good looking but I’m more into big muscle men and he just I don’t know like I wasn’t feeling it. That’s when she said good cuz I’m not anymore either and she was like so it really is a thing between me and you and not him? She even got paranoid and thought I was a catfish or something so we video chattied and it actually made me feel good thinking that she really didn’t believe that I was as into her or not who I was saying I was in my profile pics and I felt it was more the other way around but not going to lie it did boost my self esteem. So I said well I guess we can be close friends if ya man is ok w it of course and if I have to flirt w him for you I will and she was so happy when I said that and deep down I knew what was going down wasn’t right but figured well tho they are recently engaged they have been together since like forever and w all the kids at such a young age too I could see why they would want to spice up the relationship but as far as her wanting to completely cheat in which she knew I wasn’t interested in it on either end so I think that’s why she told me this sad sap story about how she is really gay and all that bs just to keep me around to make her feel better or she’s crazy or just very sexual or like ya’s said she’s just a straight up player!! So I ended up falling for her more “knowing” the “truth” and I even felt bad for her too. She said I love you first and she wrote me poems and I always got a good morning baby girl or beautiful every morning and every night. I noticed I was getting out of my depression more and she was gaining more self esteem and this is what it all seemed like to me n what was said to me so we really don’t know the whole truth but I think we can all agree that I was played harder than even her poor man or whatever he is now. So yeah I really was feeling this way and believed in mostly everything she told me too. Ok so as for your other question so basically I believed she truly was who she was saying she was and I figured that was ok cuz I get it. I mean now after you all told me what I really needed to hear I am so over her cuz you are all so right etc but I will admit I still did have some feelings after finding out and she refused to even let me go. It was also my first time breaking up with someone too. I basically was like look you cheated and I know and you now even admitted it and I even said I can’t even stand you anymore cuz all you do is lie and you drive me crazy. She then wrote back saying she never cheated and only admitted to it cuz I wouldn’t let it go til she did but the truth was that I was so smooth n especially after her cheating on me n lying and just everything made me so upset and disgusted with her that I decided to play the role of an inteigater lol I made it appear and I mean I really had her convinced that I had way more information than I really did but even still with what I had was cheating regardless of I pressed her to finally admit something for once. Then I was like I don’t understand you? You always said guys were ok but whenever I would get a reaction from any guy no matter who she’d flip n I get it cuz she was the “man” but she definitely wasn’t a man when she was talking behind my back to someone else while I was mailing her n her family gifts for Christmas and I even said no fuck you Ashley! Ya used me n I will never buy a man a gift again until we are together for a year cuz I spent a lot of money cuz I love kids n I have a daughter myself but how dare her cheat on me and accept all these things and yeah she sent me stuff too but one thing I did want back because no way I am letting her keep an expensive jacket when she was just using me ya know? So she was like I got your box and I even bought you a necklace and everything too but I still will do that for you even tho I didn’t do anything baby I swear. Then I couldn’t take it and I said shove everything up ya a$$ and I sent her a link to a song that basically call her an evil woman and she got pissed. I hope that covered everything and if not I have no problem answering or explaining more cuz I know it’s complicated and I’m sure it’s a lot to take in for some. I guess I still worry cuz tho I am still confused about why she decided to cheat on me w who she did and I don’t know like I feel ppl were putting thoughts in her head that were false cuz once everyone saw two pretty girls getting all lovey dovey on FB it felt like on both sides friends and family couldn’t stand it! Lol for real so we couldn’t even be on FB anymore and she’s really family oriented and I can see her not wanting to lose her friends and family especially at her age cuz when I was in my early 20’s I always care way too much what other people thought and I forgot where I was going with that but k so basically am still having a hard time taking this all in and she isn’t acting like she’s moved on and even posts pics of her crying and even some really serious post too like about ending her life and I don’t regret anything I said that was mean to her cuz she obviously deserved it but I almost fell for her lies again and thanks to you all she is now completely blocked and I don’t care anymore cuz she obviously didn’t care about me til she knew I wasn’t going to come back and there’s even more crazy stuff to this story too n ya’s wouldn’t believe but basically I got what I so needed to hear and am so greatful that I didn’t fall back into her trap again. That’ also was bothering me too like we would fight n say such evil things and every time I went back I noticed it only got worse each time and am so danm greatful that she’s completely gone now and no matter what I promise I will not talk or respond to her nothing. I guess it’s just a lot to handle especially when I found out on Christmas Day of all days and it was hard for me but I am good and if anything I made it clear that I moved on cuz I didn’t continue to go back like I used to and I promise you all I will stick to it too. She only lied n denied her entire life I feel and I made it clear that she is not allowed to hurt me in that way. I was proud of myself but not going to lie I still had some feelings after it all fell apart and especially on Christmas it didn’t help. Thanks again and like I said I am very open and I don’t mind answering any questions or comments cuz maybe it will help someone else who reads this and it does help getting it all out of my system and I finally feel like I have a better understanding and also a relief to just tell my feelings without feeling bad about doing so either.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2019): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really really appreciate this site a lot and for all of you who answered me back too! It really means a lot to me and I definitely see things a lot better now from all the answers and after that experience I feel so dumb in a way cuz there were so many red flags but I was blinded. Tho, the hell if I ever let myself get like that again and I promise you all that. I definitely didn’t go back to her because of not only what she did and with proof she denies it and then there were too many double standards with her as well. Like she could do something but I couldn’t ?????I do agree that a lot of people who are curious or bi whatever seem to like to cheat and I don’t believe they all do but I know more than one bi or “curious” and they all cheated. Oh well and maybe that’s why they call it curious cuz they are just that curious about you til they find someone else to be curious about. I am pretty much over her esp since it was all virtual and vc/phone and I also felt like it sucked in in that way cuz it’s not like we really got to talk about more things and also for all I know she could of been lying to me since day one. Oh well at least I know to never give my heart til I actually meet them and all that lol. Thanks again everyone! P.S I hope her fiancé finds out! ?? He probably just gave up at this point tho cuz he seemed really depressed when her n I met and he told me that he loved her and I apologized but then he was like no it’s ok and he did try n break is up from talking and I would have but she was so good at lying that even I started believing her like oh he doesn’t care if we talk w out him etc and the weirdest part of it all is that she told me she was gay and really in love with me but figured she would never meet her true love n blah blah n I actually believed that she was for real and even called her daddy like insane right? So I wonder how he would feel about not only her cheating on him with me n her being the “man” in the situationship as I call it but is now dating a dude who looks like he could be my twin brother! What a complete nightmare for me this all was and thank god I never met her. Maybe she thought she was gay and realized that she liked all the guy stuff about me cuz I am an artist/oil painter and am always dressed down due to my profession. Maybe or maybe not. Honestly she’s just a horrible person who only cares about herself and I will go back to school and become an art therapist looking all pretty and no one can assume or who knows what I went through but I really did find all of your answers to be helpful and make me stronger as well. I know I deserve and can do a lot better and when the time comes I will and hopefully she’ll see it while she is stuck w a man she doesn’t love and with 4 kids too so oh well it’s her life and not mine and as Justin Timberlake would say the damage is done so I guess I’ll be leaving! Cry me a River ohh! ?????? One last thing too is that It’s sad that I can’t talk to certain friends or family members about this either and I had to go online and ask strangers for some input and advice etc. It’s 2019 and so many people are in the rainbow community too and we still have a problem with it in today’s world. It’s like me making fun or refusing to discuss one of their own life issues and me being like eww that’s way too straight for me to talk about! ?? For real tho n why would anyone choose this life either like c’mon it’s obvious how we gain our sexual orientation from genetics however got to be careful with those who are bi or curious cuz they really could be or they might not even know. Anyways I hope you all understood what I was talking about and I can’t thank you all enough either cuz it’s not like I can google it either cuz it’s always he or she cheated and no she cheated on her or he cheated with another man and we need answers too. Much love from a friendly stranger who is very greatlful to have this page available for anyone etc. Also sorry for typing so much. I’ll keep it more short next time.
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reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (5 January 2019):
 You've had some good answers already. I just have a couple of questions for YOU:
Why did you not think you were worth better than being someone's bit on the side?
Why are you still wasting energy worrying about this woman when she has made it clear she has moved on?
New year, new start. Close this door and focus your energy on stuff which will benefit you and make you feel good about yourself. That is the way to grow.
All the best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2019): People enjoy attention and knowing someone is turned-on by them.
Sometimes it doesn't matter about your sexual-orientation.
I'm gay. I've gotten some confessions from straight-guys that although they were disgusted by passes or stares from gay-men; they were also flattered to know they were hot enough to make a gay-guy turn his head. That's where it stops! Appealing to their vanity, and nothing more.
I don't bother pursuing people in the closet, bisexuals, or the gay-curious. We can be friends, nothing else. I have no time for games! I'm a person not a guinea pig, or a lab rat. Nor am I something to personify your fetish, or a fantasy-figure from a porn video! I have feelings, dignity, and self-respect. I might be homosexual, but I'm still a man!
If more gay-folk adopt this mindset; they would avoid a lot of anguish, embarrassment, and disappointment. Some have to learn the hard-way. They have to go through the wringer first. Life has a way of teaching us lessons in spite of our resistance to facts and reality.
She was toying with your emotions and you were a novelty to be explored. You were a butterfly in a jar, she studied with a magnifying glass. She rubbed the luster off your pretty wings, and let you go. Now you can't fly like you used to.
Snap your fingers in Z-formation, and get over her! Find a real relationship that isn't conducted entirely between devices. Relationships experienced in real-time, and in the flesh; tend to be so much more fulfilling than a long-distance romance. People already established, and holding a dated-ticket for their return, fare better.
To quote a friend; "LDR's are for astronauts!" Stay grounded, girlfriend!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2019): She is looking for extra excitement out of her normal mundane life and relationship, the fact her fella is okay with it, in fact welcomed threesomes shows they are both up for experimentation. Why would she have not kept you around and acted like you had something? To boost her own ego.
You have been replaced as you have been because she is letting you know that you have been so again a boost to her own ego. She will not give two monkeys about him as much as she pretended to for you, just all sounds very sleazy in my books, but hey whatever floats peoples boats.
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reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 January 2019):
 She was done using you. when there is more arguments and drama than sex what's the point (for her) to keep you around?
She picked a guy from YOUR town to as a way to make it perfectly clear how easy it was to replace you.
Why waste so much time and energy on a woman like this? It wasn't ever a healthy relationship. You were a prop for her 3 some and then her "lover" for a while until she got tired of you. Is that really how you see yourself? As someone to be used?
Want more from a relationship/partner. Why ALL this drama? Why NOT date a SINGLE woman, be exclusive and make it work?
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reader, NORA B  +, writes (4 January 2019):
Right from the start..she was a player and continues to be one.As you would be aware if she is willing to cheat with You.....she will also cheat on You.This woman is into playing games.....and has no intention of doing otherwise.Your understanding from the start was SHE WAS A PLAYER...your understanding now is Note she is A PLAYER.Would you consider to establish a relationship with a kind,loyal loving woman.? The choice is yours Best wishes NORA B.
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