A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I have acted on my fantasy of watch her have sex with other men - four times and three times with one of the guys. I was so turned on! Before this fantasy became a reality we talked about it and she was okay with it because it was for me – as she put it. The first time was in Vegas and I set it up. The rest of the time she set it up through an on line web site that facilitates this type of thing and the people interested in participating in these activities. She took about two or three month to find a guy she was willing to do it with and scheduled a meeting at a local bar for all of use to meet. After talking about it we walked out into the parking lot where they made out then back to our house for the rest. This is the guy she was with more than once. There was one other in between all this but as my wife put it, “I was not turned on by he guy”.Problem and QuestionShe will not even fantasize about the act of another guy let alone do the act. I can’t get her to even talk about it.What is going on? It has been over two years since anything physical has happen with her and another guy. We haven’t fantized in 6 month.Things that may have caused something I don’t understand. Her Father died two year ago We had a baby 8 months ago Her mother died a month agoOther than those major events our marriage is smooth, fun, rewarding, and full of joy. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2009): I have to wonder if this wife of yours, could've simply thought, that this 'fetish' of yours was a tad selfish, just simply, a means to fulfilling your own sexual fantasy. It could be she doesn't like doing this anymore and that is her right to feel this way. Listen, a lot of couples explore other avenues to fullfillment on the sexual spectrum. But it's not for everyone. Perhaps she thought she would like it...but she doesn't want to tell you, how it really makes her feel so she just simply 'shut it down'.
If she gave you what you required for a short time span, then be happy with that. I can honestly state that many of us gals out here, prefer a man in our life, who would not want to see us boinking other men. Many females tend to find sex, without some level of love/emotional attachement a lonely, empty, unsatisfying place to be. Many females would find boinking other men to give her husband a thrill, quite demoralizing and exploitive. Many females do believe in the sharing of two lives, and believe in fidelity in every way. So,...it seems your wife gave this all careful thought and decided to put her needs, her sexual health ahead of your sexual fetishes. She didn't like it and she's now getting strong and looking out for her own physical and emotional health. I state that because. judging from your posting, all you care about is your cheap thrills while expecting her to give that to you. It is apparent, you are so wrapped up in what you want, that you are forgetting to humanize your lovely wife, by taking care of her emotional well being. Asking her to boink other men so you can 'watch' is not an act of love and cherishment, on your part and perhaps she's figured that out. That's what I am seeing here. Take care and maybe look after your wife needs by giving to her in a meaningful way.
A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (13 November 2009):
I'm guessing she was never particularly interested in it in the first place. what she was interested in was pleasing you. now that you have a kid she probably feels the need to cut that sort of thing out for the sake of bringing your child up in a normal household
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 November 2009):
Perhaps her losing her family and her having a baby with you has made her re-evaluate her life. I doubt many new mothers would want to do it with other men. Perhaps she is feeling very vulnerable since her parents have died and she now has a baby to look after. I would accept that her having sex with other men is now in the past, and look at how you can develop as a couple in the future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2009): She had major events in her life:a baby, deaths of boths parents, and you keep worrying about her refusal to fullfill your fantasies. She is busy w/ small child, misses her parents- perfect situation for sex fantasies.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2009): Look, mate, other than 'these things' as you put it, your marriage is fine? No it isn't, she's married to an idiot! 'These things' are massive things for anyone to deal with and you just expect that she's gonna want to fuck some other bloke while you get ya rocks off, just to please you? You live in a dream world. The only advice Ive got is for your wife and thats, stick with the guy you did it 3 times with!
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