A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Two months after our wedding, at the family gathering for Christmas, my husband's sister presented everyone with a slide show put together of all the kids growing up. She hooked it up to a big screen television and we all began to watch. At frst it was fun to see old photos of this family of 8 kids. B then it started to cover my husband's former wives and girlfriends which I thought was completely inappropriate, also his sister didn't include anyone else's "exes" in the the slideshow. Halfway through the wedding photos of his first wife, I excused myself and went to take a shower. I didn't return. Taking my cue, my husband asked his sister to remove the photos of the exes. She got snippy and started arguing that it was "all part of the family history", although I notice she didn't include pictures of her own husband's first marriage, or the child he had with that woman! Needless to say, the rest of the day was completely strained. My husband hasn't been with either of his former wives in 20 years I do not understand why their photos ended up on the "family" slideshow. His sister and I have always gotten along, but she is a little strange at times. Did we over-react or was she out of line to do this?...I would love to hear your input. Thanks!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): Let's put it this way... it was done in very bad taste. I would have been pissed off too... The ex wives were from so long ago that I cannot even fathom her rationale for including old wedding photos, etc.. It defies reason.
You did not overreact. She was out of line. Have your husband take it up with his sister.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): If the pictures were JUST of your husband and these women, then yes, it was very odd and inconsiderate of her to include them. It doesn't matter that this is part of his past, she should have considered the new wife's feelings.
But you say she can be weird at times, so she may just have been thoughtless and didn't have any malicious intentions. Since it's hard to say, just let it go for now and yes, take comfort in the fact your husband stands by you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): If she included all the exs then it would have been a proper family album. However bec she only featured your hbs exs I assume either she was insensitive or she had an axe to grind.
Either way have a girlie talk with her and tell her if the 'entire family' was featured both current and previous, u would have no issues however the present family 'album' must be edited.
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): There is a chance that she was a bit stupid and didn't think it would cause offence. You say these exs were very much in the past, perhaps she was just being thouhtless. I doubt if it was more than that. I would let it go. No point in making it a big issue, even though you were hurt.
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Well, those wedding pics probably included other family members too, right? They aren't that out of the ordinary in something like that. Because this was a family thing, her husband's past doesn't really play in. If she had a previous marriage, then those pics would be fair game too. Having pics of her husband's past marriage would be the same as having pics from your past marriage (saying one existed for argument's sake). Neither of those would belong because you're part of the family through marriage, not blood.
Listen, you know he has been married before. While you may not like to be reminded of it, there is no changing it either. You didn't stick around to see all the happy pictures that included you and possibly your wedding pics, you just got up and left in a huff. I can understand why you were upset, but I do think you overreacted some. It would be different if they were all sitting around talking about how much they all liked his ex, but if it was just a slide show, then I doubt that was a topic of conversation.
You made a scene at a family gathering. Take comfort in the fact that your husband came to your side and attempted to address the issue. It means he loves you. Because he demonstrates his love for you, perhaps you need to get better about letting stuff like that slide. He's with you, not them for a reason. Don't make him question why he's with you by getting jealous over something like this.
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A
female
reader, jacinta  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 No u didnt over react,what she did was very disrespectful to u and ur husband,im glad that you left the room and that your husband stood up for you.personally i think it was intentional on ur sister n laws part but i dont undestand y she would do that unless she had something against you,i would have a few quiet words wit her and just ask what her intentions were by showing them pictures and ask her to think about how you felt when they were shown,hopefully shell see the error in her ways and apologise
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