A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I work part time at a small family run restaurant. As well as working there I often go there for dinner too. The food is amazing and service is wonderful. My neighbor a while back was asking about the restaurant as she and her sister wanted somewhere new to try.She made a reservation but unfortunately told me she had a bad experience. She said that they took along time to be seated, no one took their drinks order so the they had to go up to the bar, their food wasn’t nice so they couldn’t finish it and her friend had to send her food back. I wasn’t working that evening. This obviously shocked me as the restaurant has been up and running for 6 years and there is not one bad review online or anywhere.A few days later I had a shift there so I decided to let the manager know the feedback- he was completely confused as he had worked that shift yet no one sent back any food or was left waiting when they came in. They have cctv in the restaurant so after my shift we looked over it and my neighbor clearly lied! They were immediately seated, their drinks order taken- no one went to the bar! No food was sent back either and it was clear that both plates of food had been eaten!!So I have no idea what my neighbor was going on about.When she initially told me I thought she may have the wrong restaurant but she didn’t. Obviously I can’t confront her as she will know we looked at cctv but it has upset me that she could lie to me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2024): Whatever this woman's reasons and motives are, they're not straightforward. They do seem passive-aggressive, though exactly why she wants to engage in passive-aggressive behaviour is ultimately only for her to know and deal with. You say you don't think it's jealousy and you may well be right. But it could be anything - any other negative attribute or mental health disorder such as covert narcissism ie. wanting everything to seem about her or as if she has some superior 'awareness' or value system or knowledge so that she can feel in control and more important than others, and make everything fit around her. It's incredibly common.
Personally I prefer to keep things straightforward wherever possible; I've spent way too much of my life bending over backwards - and then some more - trying to understand people's odd - and usually passive-aggressive and narcissistic - behaviour, hoping to resolve things and bring out the best in people. You may learn a lot if you're into psychology and psychoanalysing people, but it won't change them and you could wear yourself out emotionally if you choose to get involved rather than just manage things from the outset by taking a step back and focussing on pleasant and nurturing experiences and people instead.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (7 May 2024):
 I agree with Honeypie and Youcannotbeserious. This is a huge red flag.
There is nothing wrong with checking CCTV or admitting to it. In fact, as has been stated, it's so common that we're wise to assume there is CCTV everywhere (if we're planning on doing anything we don't want others to see).
However, I would not confront this neighbour about it or ask her for clarification. She had to have known that her account would be easy to verify or refute and she wasn't worried about how that would make her look. It's quite likely that if confronted she will become nasty.
I would keep a copy of that CCTV footage (along with her accusation if it was made via text or email).
Keep her at arms length, formal greetings only, don't linger to chat. Chances are she's told many other lies as well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2024): I posted this - so thank you to everyone who responded. I don’t think it’s jealousy , I don’t know what it is, maybe she likes attention & playing the “woe is me” routine.
I also just wanted to reply the “female anonymous” thank you for your input but I can assure you that the job isn’t actually boring or repetitive - it’s a lovely place with a great atmosphere & not cheap. Also I’m fortunate enough that I don’t NEED to work- as my husband has a very healthy salary that supports me, our 2 children & our beautiful home. I CHOOSE to work for some independence & social life outside of my home life. But I do agree that I do not believe my neighbor is jealous.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2024): Not sure why so many people say this woman is jealous of her. Working in a cheap restaurant waiting tables and serving meals is nothing to be jealous of. And I am sure the person who lied prefers the life she has of being a woman who does not have to do badly paid, boring repetitive work. She wanted to feel superior and throw her weight about, which is very different.
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A
female
reader, pepper  +, writes (4 May 2024):
 Hi Hunny
Ooooooh big time jealousy going on here. This neighbour is not a friend of yours sweetheart. She sounds awful, I would drop in convo next time you see her that you will get to the bottom of this as there is video footage and it's your job to make sure all is running well. Then leave it at that. She obviously needs attention. I hope this helps
Take care Peps xxx
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (3 May 2024):
 Why NOT tell her that you looked at CCTV? She must realize most places have it these days.
Tell her you felt you needed to report her complaints to the manager, who then checked the CCTV as he was concerned that someone should have had a bad experience at the restaurant. I would then make her feel really uncomfortable by asking questions like "So, exactly when did you go up to the bar, because there is no footage of that?" or "The CCTV shows you were greeted and seated as soon as you walked in. Why did you think you were not?"
Hopefully being called out on her lies will make her more careful about lying in the future.
She's an attention seeker and a liar. Watch your back because she is obviously jealous of you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 May 2024):
 Well, now you know what kind of COW your neighbor is.
She is someone who will lie to gain attention and probably to make YOU feel bad.
I'd stay away from this woman. I'd still wave/say hi, but socialize with her? Absolutely not.
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