A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Why did my ex send me flowers we broke up 6 months ago I blocked his number and we both agreed to no contact. He moved to another county. We dated for 1.5+ I did not say thank you or anything when he sent the flowers. I know I should of that’s just the type of person I am. I always say thank you and he knows that. I was getting over him and I was fine then this now I feel like I’m back to square one. And im trying to get over the situation we also broke up because he was a cheater and a narcissist.
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broke up, flowers, my ex Reply to this Question Share |
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (23 July 2018):
He doesn’t want you to forget him.
You have told us what kind of person he is and he’s exhibiting that behaviour still. He knows this would confuse you so that’s exactly why he’s done it. Expecting you to message him, knowing he has grabbed your attention and can worm his way back into your life because he’s probably not got anyone that he’s sleeping with at the moment so he’s testing the waters with you.
Don’t crumble now. Keep moving forward, exes are in the past for good reason. Keep your head up, you’re doing great.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (23 July 2018):
If you have agreed to no contact, then stick to your resolve. It is NOT bad manners to not acknowledge an unwanted gift. He is banking on you feeling you SHOULD make contact to thank him. Don't fall into the trap. He has not changed. He is still the same person you had to break up with. And he is manipulative as well.
Don't let him buy you back with a cheap bunch of flowers.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2018): Exes you may have dumped, or may have dumped you; but they still have egos. They resent your rejection. A narcissist feels he or she owns your feelings and emotions. They think they have to do whatever the please with them. Mostly trash and stomp on them. Play nice, then crush you!
They want to get-over you; before you get-over them. Sometimes, they have troubling-thoughts; because they don't like the idea of you sleeping with anybody else. Meanwhile, they're sleeping with somebody else.
If you think he is a narcissist, and knows he's a cheater. There you have it. You don't need any advice. You just need someone to shake some sense into you.
Refuse any future deliveries. He's building you up, to knock you down. Keeping your feelings raw gives him narcissistic-supply. It feels good to keep your emotions all in flux; and knowing he can make you feel anxious. Stirring-up your feelings; because he has you pegged for an emotional-weakling. He's using psychological-warfare.
Grow a stiffer-backbone and fight for your freedom. Re-send the flowers to his mother. Toss them in the trash.
You are to become a ghost. Absolutely no contact, or visual images of you to be found anywhere. Do not stalk him on social media. Blame yourself for your self-torture; if you're keeping tabs on him. If you feel harassed, get a protection order.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 July 2018):
Why is he doing it?
To keep you from moving on. He wants to be the guy on your mind. He enjoys the game plays.
And no, you should not have thanked him. You didn't ask for flowers. You didn't want contact. HE made the choice to not respect your no-contact rule because it SUITS him.
You know he isn't a good guy. Not for you or anyone else.
If he tries to send you flowers again, tell the delivery guy you do not wish to receive the flowers.
Don't let him "win" by thinking he is a nice guy for sending flowers, OP he is playing mind-fu*k games with your head. FOR his entertainment.
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