A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex fiancé and I were going to get married long story short . He moved and three years later he showed me the paper work with al my info which he said he shredded. He ended the relationship he was military and moved away to another county.He text me today and sent me a text that said I guess I can get rid of our paper work now. I asked why he still had it when he told me he shredded it. Why did he lie. He broke up with me. I have a new boyfriend I’ve been with for a year.
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (14 January 2021):
 We wouldn't know why he lied OP. Neither do I think that it's important why he lied. You've moved on. I hope that you're very happy with your new life, happy enough never to look back. I think that you should do all you can to protect yourself and your new life. Anything other than that, would be a waste of your precious time.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2021): Hi all,
It was paper work you turn in before getting married in my state it was several pages. I was concerned because he said he was going throw the paper work away. I said no it needs to be shredded.
It had my social , dob, my address phone number all my info. He got stationed in another country for the military
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 January 2021):
 I wonder too what that "paper work" was all about as well. Was it about getting you on his DEERS (health benefits through military) - getting married? Or more important papers? Such as your SSN, bank info etc.
If it was the first. Not so important. The latter? Yeah, he does NOT need to have ANY of your person info any more.
If it's the latter, talk to your bank.
Was he trying to immigrate through marriage rather than through his military service? Or is he just stationed overseas?
As for why he lied? Only he knows, and he might now want to tell. Sounds like he contacted you out of the blue to see if you were still interested.
Don't waste your time WONDERING why some ex is lying, just block him and forget about him. (unless it's important details that he has) Then ask him to ACTUALLY shred it. and THEN cut contact.
You don't want him to potentially take out credit-cards in your name or anything like that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2021): Why are you still in contact with your lying ex?
I recommend you get ID protection; because you don't know what he will do, or has done, with it.
If it's nothing particularly important or it's not sensitive information; block his contact, delete all his messages, and avoid any further communication. You don't need ex-boyfriend drama. It's obvious he's looking for trouble.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (7 January 2021):
 If you have been with your new partner for a year why are still thinking about why your ex lied.
I don't know what the paper work was, but i assume that is was things like banking details, and other personal information. I assume that you would have changed these details since splitting with your ex.
He said he shredded it, then you find out he never. So what. If you changed your details he can't do anything with it.
I think you should cut contact with him and put your energies into your current relationship.
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