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Why did my colleague not speak to me first?

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Question - (10 July 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 10 July 2009)
A female Canada, anonymous writes:

I thank in advance all who offer advice here. I have been having workplace/ colleague issues over the past year. The pattern seems the same. I am a very kind but also professional person who does her best in her job. It seems though, that some of my colleagues are almost looking for things and finally one of my colleagues said that one or two had gone behind my back to the boss. I work at a number of different centres so that may make a difference. I have brought coffee in the morning, put in extra time so they could attend appointments ect. It means nothing as I still got my back stabbed a bit. I would say I am skilled and concientious in my job but wonder why this has happened to me. I am taking it personally and I am hurt. Why did my colleague not speak to me first and how do I deal with this?

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (10 July 2009):

thatgothgirl20 agony aunt1) Complain about this to their supervisors.

2) Realize that some people are just jealous.

3) Realize that some people are just as immature as they were in high school.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009):

Hmm as someone said recently, he did not go to work to get mad. He went to work to get paid. Point is no matter where u work or no matter how hard you try, people will always say sh*t behind your back or even to your face. Why? Oh simple reasons, like envy, or unhappiness...even old gossip habits from high school leak over into adulthood. But why should anyone care, as long we're getting paid?

Don't get Mad, Get Paid.

You aren't gonna let a few bad apples spoil the whole tree are you?

If it is coming to a point of harassment, then you should talk to your boss about it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009):

First of all, what did your colleagues do? Did they complain about you? You did not give much explanation. Are they degrading your work and work ethic? It appears that they may be jealous of your work and how you perform your job. If you are doing your job, then, unfortunately, if someone wants what you have (rapport, consideration, etc..) and feels that they deserve more than you, this happens. Just hold your head high. Obviously, if you are doing something to spark their attention, then I don't believe that what you are doing is wrong. Everyone has to gain their way to the top...either honestly, or unhonestly.

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