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Why did my boyfriend's sex drive plummet?

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Question - (25 November 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 November 2011)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I really don't get this. My boyfriend became impotent overnight.He had very high sex drive, and ready for sex

anytime.

Now when ever we want to have sex, what is less and less,he is losing his erections right after he would enter. So we can't have sex.

I can't understand this. What could cause this so suddenly. Its starting to destroy our relationship. Please give me some ideas.

View related questions: erection, ready for sex, sex drive

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A female reader, bluecow United Kingdom +, writes (25 November 2011):

bluecow agony auntTry not to jump to conclusions like happy-time suggested. If he has been aware of his issue (it may have been creeping along for a little while) then that fully accounts for his lack of sex drive. He doesnt want to be embarrassed.

Sudden erectile dysfunction DOES happen!

There are a few things he and you need to think about while on your way to the doctors.

Any changes in circumstance?

higher (or lower) stress levels?

changes in diet?

recently started (or given up) smoking?

drug/alcohol habit?

depression?

weight gain/loss?

recent illness?

and another million and one factors....

I would be very loving and understanding to him (as frustrating as it is). Show him that you can both enjoy sex without the need for penetration. Get him to go to the doctors.... its much much much more common than you would think!

As for whether you think he may be seeing someone else, or no longer finds you attractive, have you any proof of this? No other womans underwear or not spending hours bashing one out to porn? - from your post I feel you would have mentioned this if you thought in this way so I would dismiss it now.

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A male reader, happytime United States +, writes (25 November 2011):

Either he doesn't find you physically attractive anymore, or he just isn't in love with you anymore. Are you sure there is no one else?

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A female reader, followtheblackrabbit Cayman Islands +, writes (25 November 2011):

followtheblackrabbit agony auntWell hon, these things happen. Men aren't machines. He could be stressed out, maybe experiencing a hormone imbalance etc. A lot of factors can cause a drop in sex drive: age, medication, stress/anxiety, illness etc. Be patient with him for now. Don't show your dismay. He's a man, and it will make him feel worse to see this. Be affectionate of course, loving. Let him know that you're here for him. This might disappear as soon as it came about. But, if it doesn't, he might want to see a doctor as this could relate to a medical problem.

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