A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupid,so i just lost my virginity to my boyfriend last week.it was not funny and not in the least bit interesting or ecstatic.it even made me cry.so i let him make love to me a couple of times after that.i observed that i only feel more love and passion whenever we make love.no ecstasy at all.so now im scared that i might never enjoy sex.am i doing something wrong? Or am i not just cut out for sexual pleasure.i need to know because its frustrating my boyfriend and me too that he cant satisfy me in bed.
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female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (8 July 2012):
 It takes a while of practice and experimenting to find out what makes you feel "ecstasy" (climax). At the moment you're inexperienced, and the first time was almost bound to hurt. Don't just "let him" make love to you; get actively involved. Have plenty of foreplay so that you're very, very turned on before you have sex. Try different positions, as it can feel quite different depending on the angle and depth. Remind him about your clitoris: make sure that either you or him is stimulating that area during intercourse (this isn't always easy in missionary position). Relax a bit. Take your time and appreciate the good feelings sex gives you even if you're not quite climaxing yet. You'll get there with practice. I promise, can take a while but you'll get there in terms of working out what turns you on and how to climax. And it's a joint venture. It's not just your boyfriends responsibility to make sex amazing, it's yours too. Have fun!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYea thanks.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): He has to learn how to actually satisfy you as it will rarely happen from sex alone. Just let things be spur of the moment and enjoy learning about each others bodies, don't rush straight into sex or it is going to be unsatisfying, except for him! If he wants to make it better together you are just going to have to experiment and find out what you like. Please always be safe and take precautions to prevent pregnancy-obviously, don't want that as a result!
Best of luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012): "am i doing something wrong? Or am i not just cut out for sexual pleasure."
Only thing you did wrong was making the mistake of losing your virginity too soon, under the wrong circumstances, and to a high school boyfriend who most likely will be a distant memory long before your 21st birthday.
Sorry it turned out so badly for you, only advice I can offer is to defer any further sexual activity until you are truly ready to fully enjoy sex while being prepared to
accept the responsibility that comes with it (i. e., raising the child you may be conceiving), which no 16-17 ever is.
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