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Why did I fall for her lies?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 August 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 August 2015)
A female Canada age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I was strung along by this girl who pretended to be my 'friend' but all the time she was carrying on with my ex behind my back. I had a good idea she was - but she would always deny it - so I just carried on as normal doing what friends usually do. Although lately we had a fall out - but after she has announced to her other friends that they are now Engaged and happily dating (confirming what I know is true).

I feel such a mug - firstly because she has strung me along all this time and also because I should have cut her off from the start when she first started lying to me months ago -Aaaarghh!!

I am over my ex - as we had a fall out and don't speak now anyhow - but now I feel so daft for not following my instincts and cutting the pair off from the start.

I am not usually easily fooled - but I feel she must be having a right laugh now - I went along with her lies even though I knew she was being untruthful - how can I stop feeling so mugged off ?

View related questions: engaged, my ex

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A female reader, Slippers  United Kingdom +, writes (18 August 2015):

Have to agree with all the other posts .. Once the honeymoon period is over and the daily routine of life kicks in and those rose coloured glasses fall of and they see each other as two peeps who can't be trusted as far as you throw them . And trust me it wouldn't be far .. then their shambles of a fantasy will fall around their ankles and as said before you sweetie will have the last laugh . Chin up ..

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (17 August 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI agree with Notsohappy

Don't waste time feeling bad, you didn't DO anything bad - SHE did. She turned out to be a horrible friend, a backstabber, liar, and cheat....

She has nothing to be proud of when it comes to how she "got" her man... And if she laughs at you for not cutting her off, remember she who laughs last, laughs best... Think about it. She took your cheating lying BF off your hand and now SHE is trying to make a life with him... HOW do you think trust is between those two? Yeah, not so great... they will not trust each other as far as they can toss each other.

She did you a favor in a way. You could have stayed with a guy who was willing to cheat on you with a friend.

Let it go. Don't waste time feeling bad over something YOU did not do.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2015):

you didnt fall for her lies..you stood for them , so no more slating yourself for being deceived.You can forget them and instead choose higher calibre friends for the rest of your life. They will be trying to make out that everything in their garden is rosy, hence the rapid engagement but it will never be so.He will always know she is capable of deception and she vice versa. He will be moody and miserable and she will assume he is thinking of you. Occassionally he will use your name and say you did this or that better, when he is overuled by his temper he will tell her she deliberately came between you two and life would have been so much better if only he had never got involved with her but stuck to wonderful you,his ex. She will cry and he will enjoy his little bit of power and her compliance as she tries harder to fit into how wonderful his life would have been if only she hadnt ruined it.You would probably laugh if you could peep through a little piece of perspex into their life and hear his xaggerated boasts of how wonderful you were at all things including baking bread and between the sheets .She will wash his sox faster and take up uncomfortable sex acts believing you were a willing party.Dont envy these two at all because they chose their own personal hell, but try to forget them because they have no right to involve you in their life any more.

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