A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Am I being dangled?I met a guy recently on a dating site. He's a older guy and at first seemed gentlemanly. His profile stated he wanted long term nothing casual.We got chatting and took it offline, not long into this he sends me a spooning meme which kinda baffled me as I thought it were odd.I then get a chest pic. And he becomes slightly flirtatious.I agreed to meet him but he cancelled saying he had the flu. So I told him I took the hint, he was then quick to rearrange a week later.We did meet and had a coffee, we seemed to get on well and I felt a attraction. I hadn't left the date long and he was texting me telling I was gorgeous etc. We met 2 days later then another date at his home where he cooked, nothing happened except a kiss. We met again for coffee, and he suggested I go over to his place the sat eve, I did and I stayed the night but we got more intimate but not fully.He then vanished no word nothing. He is on 2 dating sites. I carried on and assumed he wasn't into me. But 3 weeks later he reappears and asks if I fancy meeting up again. I was friendly and carefree about him disappearing, he offered no explanation. So we have been chatting for over almost 2 weeks . He hasn't asked me out. Our chats are short and don't really seem to get going. He will send the odd morning text or out the blue message but nothing that makes me feel he interested. I really don't get this guy. I prefer to allow the man to make the first move.Where as he was flirtiutous before he is not now.Why do men come back if they aren't really interested?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2015): Hi.
If you are on dating sites, it is likely you are chatting with various people.
You may go out with them, you may just chat on the site, you may can't off the site.
If you go out with one, once maybe twice, you realise you aren't that into them, you don't bother again. You go back on the site. Continue chatting to others, nothing else kicking around or things are quite, you may be arent getting much attention or maybe aren't getting messaged back from people....you look and there's the person you feel safe in regards to being attractive to.....you get where I'm coming from hun? This guy isn't interested in you beyond what you had - get yourself some other dates chick there's nothing gonna change here.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 August 2015):
 I agree with SVC,
He is a time-waster. He likes you, BUT not enough to actually date you.
He is trying to juggle many women at the same time, basing in all the attention.
Personally, I'd look elsewhere for a guy to date. Just block his number and move on.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 August 2015):
 he is keeping you on the back burner in case the girl he is really interested in falls through.
he's a time waster.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2015): ive been in a similar situation with a guy from online dating in the end i worked out he was just keeping me about until he found someone who was 100% perfect to him . i didnt get intimate with him , so dont go all the way with this guy , most tell you what you want to hear. if i was you id take the lead either ask him where he sees you both going or tell him what you want.you wont know unless you ask, just be careful if he does say he wants you and only you he could still be on these sites just has his profile hidden . im not saying all men are like that but its from experience .
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2015): Because you let them !
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