A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi and thanks in advance for taking the time to read my question. I am a married man in my 30s. My wife is supposedly bi-sexual(although I have never seen evidence). When we first met we actively sought out single women to join us in the bedroom, sadly this never panned out. Finding a willing participant is very hard. The farthest we got was meeting a woman at a bar, with wife "getting ill" and us having to leave. Well that aside, we did end up having two separate threesomes with two different guys(I am not bi, this was all for her). I was ok with this thinking my time would come. Well fast forward 5 years and I am still waiting. Wife has lost all interest in this. I feel like I am still owed and it eats at me a lot. I would just like some advice on what I should do.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (18 August 2015):
 Your wife can be attracted to women, but that doesn't mean she won't feel jealous when you get with another woman. She might have hinted she's bisexual making you feel that a FFM threesome is possible in the future so that you both would go ahead with the MMF threesome. If she wanted that but would not consent to a FFM threesome it would be unfair and hypocritical of her, knowing that you sacrificed to make her happy but she wouldn't do the same.
I think the difference between you and her is that you anticipated a FFM so you took a risk with the MMF while in her mind she already said no to sharing a woman with you from the beginning. Threesomes are only fun if you enjoy any kind of arrangement and won't feel you owe anything.
There's nothing you can do if she's indirectly refusing to do FFM. Maybe when she agreed to do MMF, she was expecting you to say no and get on with life. That's what a lot of wives do to deter a threesome request. Since you didn't refuse, she was surprised but went through with it. Maybe she didn't enjoy it and it was better kept as a fantasy.
You opened a can of worms in your marriage and if you want to stay in it you should convince yourself that threesomes are just that, they are not what they are hyped up to be. You won't find yourself in ecstasy land. It's like an hour of awkward touching and fumbling, struggling with erection, then the next morning is the same boring life again.
You married your wife thinking she's enough to make you happy. Now the rules changed as if you can only be happy because she owed you two women. You have to be honest with yourself if you can stay happy with what you got, regardless of what happened in the past.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 August 2015):
 The problem is you feel "owed" like Sex is something that is measured out and is fair and even. It's not.
I am bisexual. I have told my husband this but I have not acted on it since we have been together. Does not mean I'm not bisexual.
Have you discussed it with your wife is that how you know she's lost interest?
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