A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes: Why did he treat me like I didn't exist this one important event? He has always treated me well. This was my first time meeting his childhood friends at his east coast 50th reunion party. His ex gf came on very forward and acted as if he were hers. My husband didn't even bother to introduce me as they were talking with her husband by her side. She spoke up first, filling the silence saying thats my husband. I was civil, we said hello to each other, and I quickly left them to chat. My husband Tim didn't even miss me 90 minutes later. We toured his school in a subdued manner, me asking calmly, he giving short answers. At the dinner dance, I was alone alot at our table, made friends without him. During the class photo session the ex gf had him sit next to her. That wasn't what upset me. I looked over later and they were holding hands on her thigh! She gave me the smuggest smile and held onto him the entire time (20min), shoulders touching and I imagine hugging him in innocent bliss when it ended! They were the only ones holding entwined hands. At closing she came across the room and kissed him, I didn't see it, so she said louldy over our table conversation, thanks for letting me kiss your husband. Our table got quiet, I looked at my husband, if looks could kill. He tried to hold my hand both times these things happened. I felt really bad, humilated and angry. My husband always holds me tenderly and here he was holding her like he holds me. That floored me then and I can't erase it from my mind, and we always hold hands still. Now I think of her inbetween us. He would of married this person had he stayed in the east. She was so conniving, and spiteful to me and we hadn't even conversed, ever. I saw her at 19teen, then now. Their class picture in 2010 is forever. We haven't seen her in 50 years. My husband says this is all innocent, he didn't start it. Yes, but he didn't take her hand away and I feel betrayed because he never acknowledged me to her to set her straight. He is very friendly, so why not let me meet her? We argued badly. I have this emotional wedge in my heart, and if only he could understand and verbalize that I am not a fool for feeling this way I could move on. He will not forgive me for not trusting him after all these years. Will he act the same way if we ever met her again? Also he came back and confided to another female that I was made jealous, together they laughed at me. I feel so embarrased to tell anyone how I feel because they think highly of our relationship and especially him. Please need some male and female input. Thanks.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): Thank you Rescuer & male respondent. Both of your insights made sense. The hand holding incident I am still stuck on. To have held hands (entertwined) on her lap for so long, and me coming up to them and taking their class
picture! This didn't even phase my husband that I was there or that this hand holding was so intimate and he still did not pull away from her... makes me doubt his feelings about her. She proved she could attract my husband away from me with no problem. I so regret I ever attended his reunion. I never doubted him before, I always thought I was his true love and he would just be happy to have me meet all his friends! I feel so unsure after all these years. What means more: His forever photo and intimate touching/kiss with his crush we drove 3,000 miles or us. Holding hands is what we always have done-never should have held her. Thanks for your caring replies. Gave me hope. I was not understanding but will try again.Please reply to this part of my question. It is very important to me! Thanks again.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2011): I'll try to put some male perspective on this, but I admit your experience is a bit foreign to me.
First off, I will say that your husband acted like a jerk.
That said, let's consider the venue. A reunion. People go to reunions to relive their 'glory years', if only for a night.
It sounds to me like your husband wanted to go back to that time and relive it a bit. I think it was terrible of him to be so inconsiderate, but I also don't think you shouldn't feel overly threatened by it.
You stated that he is very loving to you normally. I think you should forgive him, but insist it never happen again. He of course should make you breakfast, take you out to dinner, knock your socks off in bed, and buy you flowers.
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