A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't have a lot of dating experience because I had been in a long term relationship for about for years, so please bear with me. A few weeks ago, I met a guy at a friend's birthday party (he's her friend). We danced pretty much exclusively the entire night and he ended up asking for my number.A couple of days later, he adds me on Facebook...and a few days after that, he texts me and asks to hang out. So we go out and everything was great. We clicked really well and had a great night overall. He had his arm around me during the entire movie, held my hand a little. He seemed a little nervous, which was super cute. That same night after he drops me off, he initiates a text convo with me and it was innocent and cute.The next day, he initiates a texting convo again, and we text throughout the entire day (albeit in pretty long intervals because we both work). That same night, I texted him a joke from the previous night (the "date night) and he tells me that he's coming back from a meeting, and that he wants to stop by. This was pretty late...after midnight. He gets to my house at around 1 in the morning, and we sit outside and have a really great conversation for like an hour and a half. He holds my hand, rubs my back, and I'm pretty sure he wanted to kiss me. We hugged when he left. He texted me when he got home and made another reference to the date night.So I wake up the next morning, totally happy and excited. He didn't contact me the entire day until I sent a funny little text about the other night, which he answered. I didn't want to be annoying so I left it at that.The next day, no sign of him again. I texted him another message about our convo, he answers back. I text him back asking him if he'd like to hang out for a bit the day after next, and he's like "Possibly. I'll let you know my schedule when I wake up- What do you want to do?" I answer back with some possibilities to which he does not reply. I didn't double text and left it at that.SO. What is this guy's deal? Why would we be "talking" pretty consistently until the "date" and the day after, and suddenly he stops? Why would he go out of his way to see me so late that night, and then not talk to me at all afterward? I'm so bothered by it and I'm really taking this personally. Someone PLEASE explain this to me. I'm convinced that if he even texts me tomorrow, he's gonna be like "I'm busy, sorry". But I just don't understand why?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): so what happend until now?
please keep on posting...
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (18 October 2009):
Move on. You can do better than a guy who only wants to use you.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (18 October 2009):
 As said, coming over that late...
He thought you were easy, now he finds out that getting into your pants is going to take a bit more work then texting and a late night call and he lost intrest.
Move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009): Hi
I agree. Post midnight communication is usually booty calls. But, of course, you don't want the guy to think that you are too much into him. So, next time you go to places like the dance or some other party, mingle. It is very tough to find really good guys these days and the odds of two people falling in love and going for a long term relationship are so slim (when you actually think about it). All who find love are truly lucky.
SO, darling, the only thing for you to do now is to circulate, meet people and enjoy the singles scene. Love will happen, and when it happens, you will be happy and you will know it.
Right now, you don't need to worry why men don't call! Enjoy the singles scene and your independence. It won't last and in a relationship this total independence is what you miss the most. Also, enjoy the licence to flirt shamelessly with every man who comes by. Just friendly, you know.
I know that this is not the advice you were looking for, but then Quirk Lady and Ask Oldersister have put it so well, I am just adding another spin in the issue.
Lotsa Love :)
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (18 October 2009):
 My thought is he came over late at night looking for some sex, didn't get any, and now he's pulling away because he's disappointed. 1 AM is pretty much booty call time.
If he doesn't contact you in the next few days, write him off. Don't contact him in the meantime.
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