A
male
age
30-35,
*oastie121
writes:ok so background. i have been in a relationship for about a month now with one of my bestfriends. we met thru a JROTC thing when some of the underclassmen and my self went streaking before and after the ceremony. we were pretty good friends from there on out. then summer hit and we weregetting closer and closer by the day and we now konw EVERY little detail about EVERY thing in each of our lives. one night we were just horsin around and we kissed just out of curiousity. and it ended up leading up to sex and all that fun stuff. she had come to me about a month earlier and told me that she had feelings for me and would love to date me. i told her that i did have feelings for her and that they werent of the same nature. i just wanted it to be friends. but from that day on i had a crush on her and it grew stronger and stronger. i dont know where it came from or how it happend. but the same night that we had sex i asked her out. everything is was great till about two weeks ago. she is incredibly possesive over me and it seems like she wont leave me alone. she is a junior and i have already graduated. so she calls me when she gets to school in the morning and then again at lunch and then again after school till she has to go to work or kickboxing and then for two to three hours after that. its driving me mad and frankly pushing me away. now, she is a thinker. she likes to look too deep and pull meanings out of things taht werent intended. so if i tell her that i just need a little space thats all she will freak out. how do i tell her to give me a bit of room with out absolutly killing our relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009): Hi
Chalk it up to love combined with a lack of experience. It is quite natural for her to feel this way, especially in the first stages of a brand new romance. It is the hormones combined with the giddiness of a very young girl. She is a thinker, huh? So you know that she is a great girl, and that she is a bit more mature than most, right?
Many men would have been fine with the talking and all that, but if you aren't then there is little you can do, but be honest with her. She will feel even more hurt if you hide the truth from her and then end up secretly hating her. If you think she wouldn't be able to tell, think again. Women are more perceptive in most cases.
Now, talk to her calmly and do it to her face. There is little to do but that. Also, are you seriously attracted to her? Do you think that this is poised to last more than 6 months? Do you think that you guys will be celebrating the new year together? NO?
Well, if that is not the case, then please don't let her to believe that you feel more for her than you actually do. (Maybe she is already under that impression and hence she calls you more?).
Look, she was okay with you guys being just friends, right? I mean before you hooked up? I think that this time you should be honest with her. Okay?
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