A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I wondered if you could give your thoughts on why this man has suddenly stopped texting me - January he messaged me started texting frequently and then one night after a higher out he rang and told me he liked me and would I go out for a drink with him ? I said I thought it might be a bit soon as he had just split from wife ... we carried on chatting then I realised I wanted to go out with him and he asked why ? I said because I liked him and he said that he would give it some thought when he was ready ?!??!He then texted a little and it’s gone really quiet now .. confusing to say the least ... only problem is I really like him ... I know he has a lot on and is going through a lot but he started it so I’m really confused ../ why did he back off ? He is always flirty When we bump into each other at work , altho I think he is avoiding me more at work now these days ... help ??
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2019): "then one night after a [higher] out he rang and told me he liked me and would I go out for a drink with him ?"
I take it this is where your instinct kicked in.
You mentioned that you considered 'just split from his wife' as a 'big-context' justification for saying 'No' or, probably equivalent, 'Not yet'.
Yet, it's often the slightest details that are enough to tell us that there's an iceberg under that tip. Something about his timing might not have sat in well with you. *That's* a legitimate reason for you to have politely declined.
Still, in your mind, once you had said "it might be a bit soon", did you consider that his invitation remained open until you were ready to say 'Yes'? Because it seems to me like he considered that you had declined, and his invite was closed.
You opened a new one. He said he'll think about it... I only see life as usual, here, just the way it is. Just don't sit around waiting for him. There's more to life than this.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 May 2019):
 I think you DID the right thing is pulling the breaks.
If he had JUST split from his wife, he is STILL married and BARELY even separated. A separations is a time for REFLECTION and consideration for one's future and goals. NOT for dating, IMHO.
He took your advice to heart and pulled back.
You nipped something in he bud that probably never should have started.
JUST be professional at work. Dating a coworker is rarely a good idea.
If he wants to avoid you at work, let him. While you may like him there is no future with this one as his present is uncertain and HE NEEDS to work through the end of his marriage BEFORE jumping into the dating pool.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (23 May 2019):
 He sounds like was maybe just caught up in his new found freedom however realises he just isn't ready. Could it be he and his ex are considering reconciling? A work colleague can be troublesome anyway. If its a bit uncomfortable now, could you imaging if you did start dating and it went pear shaped.
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