A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I believe I have found the love of my life and started having sex with him the beginning of this year. There is only one problem. I feel he is emotionally very distant after sex. I would like to cuddle after sex but he immediately falls asleep after he ejaculates. He says is it natural for men to fall asleep after sex and he can't help it. Is he for real?????Is he just making an excuse or should I take him to the doctor? I don't understand how a healthy and athletic guy who runs 5km a day and does martial arts can pass out after just twenty minutes of sex. I need some advice because I am rather inexperienced in sex. he is my first partner and I don't wish to offend him but I find it very disappointing that after we climax all I want to do is being held by him and share ourselves not just physically, talk a bit about our day but he just lies on his back motionless, doesn't bother cleaning up and looks like he had been hit by a tranquilizer dart until he wakes up the next morning. I know it sounds funny but it feels very selfish of him.How should I confront him without offending him?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2019): 18 year old male here. I too always doze off after I pop a load. In fact whenever I have trouble sleeping at night I just rub one out and I fall asleep in no time. Don't worry it's not a health issue. Cheers.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2019): I think probably he is overdoing the sports bit so his muscles just want to relax and rest when he is in bed. It shouldnt be difficult to point out to him that you need to be cuddled and talked to and he should ease off a little on the sports and reserve some of the energy for you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 May 2019):
 Biologically and evolutionary, he IS kind of right.
Women usually get energized by sex/climax, men gets tired. I would suspect it was (from an evolutionary standpoint) so that a female could get away after mating.
However, I think someone who ALWAYS conks out RIGHT after he ejaculate probably DOESN'T really want to chat or cuddle. I don't think there is anything wrong with him medically.
Though in MEN biochemical prolactin is released on climax/ejaculation and it CAN after climax deplete the muscles of energy-producing glycogen.
So IF you have sex after a long day, it's not ENTIRELY out of the norm that he will fall asleep after.
My advice? Before you DRAG him to the doctor, change up WHEN you have sex. A good time in the EARLY morning BEFORE breakfast. Which means... he will still be hungry and had a good night's sleep (hopefully) so LESS tired. Or try and drag him out in the shower after sex and THEN cuddle up together.
Not everyone enjoys a cuddle after sex. Personally, I have never been a fan. Mostly because I get restless after sex. I like a shower after sex. I don't like being sticky or whatnot. So each to their own. ACCEPT that he may not be a fan of it. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you or adore you. I can't sleep if my husband cuddled up next to me... (even with no sex) All I want is to NOT be touched when I sleep.
Cuddle on the couch watching a movie.
I think he is pretty normal here.
Now if he doesn't give a SINGLE F about YOUR enjoyment and you getting off, THEN I'd be inclined to call him selfish, but not being a fan of cuddles after sex? To me that is not a big deal.
Guess you have to decide if this is a deal breaker or not. But you probably will find that MANY men just fall asleep after.
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