A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating this guy exclusively for a couple of months now. We began by just hanging out in big groups, but then we realized we really enjoyed spending time together and slowly started dating. He kept telling me he was wary of getting into a relationship before starting his new job because he wouldn't have a lot of free time, but we kept seeing each other and I unknowingly got pretty attached. The attraction was mutual and very strong, but we held off having sex because we wanted it to mean something and be special. However, a couple of weeks ago he started his new job and quit calling (with the exception of drunk-dialing a few times). He will usually respond when I text him, but for the most part says he's busy. Now I do not know what to do because I really like the guy, but it seems like he has become disinterested in me. Will he come back or should I just give up forever? Also, shouldn't he let me know if we are not exclusive anymore?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2011): No, we never ended up having sex although in the end he was practically begging me to. Even though I wanted him SO bad, I said I wanted a solid commitment that he would be able to dedicate time towards me in the future before I would have sex with him. He would not make any kind of solid commitment for a relationship, but still talked about us being together in the future. And his new job is 12 hours a day with take home work at night. His friends verified this with me because I didn't believe it either.
Its weird because everytime I see him lately he talks about how I think he is an alcoholic. I do not think this and I don't know where he got the idea from, but maybe he is hypersensitive because I don't drink at all. I just really miss him and want to ask him whats wrong, but am afraid that might compromise any chance of a relationship in the future.
Also, he will make time to call me after work if I ask him to but always has to go quickly. And he always seems really happy to see me and tells me I look nice, but is too busy to hang around. He just never initiates anything. I have heard that if you hold off calling a man then he will eventually come around, but in this case it just seems so hopeless.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 January 2011):
 What's this new job that takes up all his time to where he can't give you the time of day? Did you end up having sex with this guy?
Do you know that it takes not even a minute to send a text? If he likes and still wants to be with you, then he will take 5 minutes out of his busy day to talk to you. Even if it's just a "Hey, I'll call you when I'm off work." text. It seems that you're not worth his time, unless he's drunk. So I would take this silence as he doesn't have time for you, and that you two are now over.
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