A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I dated this man about four times, we didn't sleep together but we did really connect - or so I thought. He went to lots of effort wining and dining me and he always text the next day to say thanks for a nice night and how much he had enjoyed himself. I haven't heard from him in two weeks now so it is obvious that he has lost interest but I have no idea why! I understand that this often happens in the dating world and I would like to learn from this experience so that I can try and avoid it happening again in the future. I am thinking about asking him why he stopped calling me and if it was something that I did. Do you think he will think I am acting desperate if I do this? It's not so much that I want him back (although I do) I just want some peace of mind and closure so I can move on to hopefully a better relationship. Thanks in advance x
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female
reader, Manya  +, writes (9 November 2010):
It's possible that Odds has the right idea, and your date was hoping for a cue that you just didn't give him, at least not in a way that he noticed (somestimes you have to "hit" men over the head!) The fact that you wrote in to Cupid makes me think that you should take the "one call for closure" recommended by "The Rules" book. These two women authors are the first to say, "He's not interested, period!" BUT even they allow for "one call for closure" --just in case! Follow your feelings.
Manya
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): He's Just Not That Into You!
If you have not watched this movie just go an watch. I believed it has a great facts about guys.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (8 November 2010):
I wouldn't make contact at all. I'm sure it wasn't you. I suspect that he may have been after sex, and little else. You went on a few dates, and then he didn't make contact. So, it's most likely he was out to use you.
Don't go after him looking for closure. You phone him and ask him what he was, and he could lie and tell you whatever and you'd believe it all. You don't need that. He just wasn't the right guy for you, so it's best to accept that and move on now.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2010): For god's sake don't contact him and ask him whether you did something wrong. That smacks of desperation.
Forget him and move on. If he contacts you with a reasonable explanation for his sudden disappearance then fine but do not contact him.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (8 November 2010):
 Did you try being the first to call after the second or third date? Did you make out with him by the third date? Did you give any other *clear* indication (through actions, not words) that his efforts were winning you over, and there would be sex and romance soon?
If the answer is no, then that's why - he assume dyou were not interested.
If the answer is yes to two or more of the above, it's because in the process of getting to know you and connecting, he probably learned something he disapproves of. I've had that happen a few times. Without knowing what sort of information you shared, I couldn't say for sure, but that's what I'd bet.
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