A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I found today my bf had a contact on his mobile phonebook called Brian, and when i called few times a girl answered the phone. I didnt said anything to my bf but i know with the way i spoke to him after i found out he knows im worried about something.We have talked with my bf lots of times at the past and said he never cheated on me but throughout the years there have been few things that made me worried about how much he likes me so i start snooping. Whenever i did it i felt bad about it but i do want to know what is happening behind my back. My bf and his family were always so lovely to me and helped me a lot! I am not sure if he has ever cheated on me, and if he has im 100% sure he regrets it, but thats the point! I am NOT sure. We have discussed it a lot of times and tried to show him that he can talk to me for anything. But i still feel that he avoids talking about things that would make me worry and when i found out my self its even worst! To stop going on and on why would someone save a girl's number under a guy's name?
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female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (20 March 2010):
 My husband used to keep all the women he was having affairs with under male names but kept the same initial so Lisa was Leslie etc etc. I am unsure whether he thought I was thick or not but that one is the oldest trick in the book.
I don't want to hurt you but this is a very deceitful and guilty action and shows that 'intent' is there. i don't know if this has been done to stop you going off on one because she is a girl and just a friend or whether there is more to it but I would be very wary if I was you. The fact that he has gone to the effort to do this is either that he can't cope with any emotional outburst from you and it is easier to hide or he is up to something. Female intuition is not normally wrong so think if there is anything else that has changed or doesn't add up in his behaviour and then you will be pretty sure if there is something going on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2010): Ok a few issues here. First you have very little if any trust in your boyfriend. This is something that can be very toxic in a relationship so you are either going to have to start trusting him fully or break up because you never will and this is not good for either of you. You say he has never cheated on you that you know of, so it sounds like you have doubts in your relationship and that's not good. Maybe seek out some counseling, I'm guessing that you may have self esteem and confidence problems. Second just because a girl answered does not mean it's her phone, I answer my boyfriends phone sometimes when he's not close enough to get it, also I've borrowed his phone at different times. So it may be a guys phone and this girl is just there, doesn't mean it's her phone. Third maybe he is lying and trying to keep this girl on the side hidden under this guys name. If you flat out ask him about it and he dosn't have a good excuse then you have to decide if you're going to put it behind you and move on in the relationship or break up, but you can't stay with him and then keep doubting it and bringing it up and not believing him. So either believe him and move on or get rid of him.
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