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Is my jealousy uncalled for?

Tagged as: Cheating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 March 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 March 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, *avidgavin writes:

My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 1/2 years, we have been through a lot of terrible things together, most of them my fault, however we have gotten through those things..mostly... and are trying to make things work. We have a son that is 2 years old and when i go out she watches him, when she goes out I watch him, when I was out I always answer my phone for her even if she calls a hundred times. this is where my problem is at, about 6 months ago we were in a pretty bad spot and we had broken up sort of, she was going out with her friends a lot and when i would call she wouldnt answer her phone in fact her friends would answer sometimes just to mess with me. At that time i was calling for no particular reason but to see what she was doing because we werent together but we were still living together and i wasnt sure if she was hanging out with other guys. only to find out she didnt come home till 430 in the morning, and days later i found out she was fooling around with some guy in her car when she told me she was at a restraunt. Now just tonight and the LAST time she went out Im watching our son, and when I called i only called because I needed to ask a question about our son and she didnt answer the phone, not only that but i texted her the problem and she didnt even bother to text me back, so she walks in the door again at 430 in the morning drunk and tells me her phone was "in the car" and she was "at her friends talking for hours. Im just looking for some opinions from you guys, and wondering if my anger/jealousy is uncalled for. thanks for reading my book, and thanks for taking the time to respond.

View related questions: drunk, jealous, text

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A female reader, Entirely Unique United Kingdom +, writes (21 March 2010):

Entirely Unique agony auntI feel you really do need to talk to her, if she can behave badly when you are out with her I can't imagine how she behaves when you're not.

She seems to be acting and doing the same kind of things she did when you weren't together, the not answering the phone, the coming in really late, no real concern about you while she's out enjoying herself.

I do accept that when you have children its nice to have a night out and do something other than be a parent but you're still a parent and still have a responsibility and the leaving the phone in the car, anything could have happened and she could have needed to be contacted.

Talk to her, you can't carry on feeling like this and she can't carry on acting like this.

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A male reader, davidgavin United States +, writes (21 March 2010):

davidgavin is verified as being by the original poster of the question

In the past 2 years, Because my son is 2 we have been able to get a sitter twice, so we both went out together, and thats kinda what made me think about what shes like when im not there because i see what shes like when I AM there, and its definately not the way you would expect the woman that you love and the mother of your child to act.

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A female reader, Entirely Unique United Kingdom +, writes (20 March 2010):

Entirely Unique agony auntI don't think your jealousy is uncalled for, I would be and I'm sure alot of people would be the same in the same situation, she's behaving and doing things she did when you weren't together and openly confessed at those times she was messing around with another/other bloke/s.

You can't really judge and compare the time you weren't together and the time you are now but if the same things are happening then I'm not surprised its making you stop and wonder.

Forgetting anything else you're at home with your child you have together and no matter what she should really have her phone on her and contactable at all times incase theres ever an emergency.

I would suggest talking to her, explain that you need to be able to get hold of her for many reasons and the main one being your son.

Do you ever have family or a babysitter come in and you both get to go out as a couple?

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