A
female
age
41-50,
*ixieGwen
writes:My bf and i have been together for a month 1/2. He's always called daily sometimes 2x a day (i didn't ask him to). We hung out daily or frequently. He's currently in the middle of a custody battle, moving, purchasing a car.. We had spent the wknd together, he got sick with a cold and didn't see him for a wk. I called a cpl times during the wk to see if he was better. Every time we talked he said he was still ill but gettin better. During that wk he deleted his FB profile, deleted himself from poppin up on gmail chat. I asked him bout it and he said he deleted his FB profile cause he feels hes being watched by someone, he clamed he didn't know he was deleted from gmail chat and also assumed his mom was in his email (they share a laptop).Everytime within that wk if i called - he'd call back. So another time we talked and he said he saw i called - we had a good convo/laughed. We made plans for the following day - he said he'd call when he woke (he ALWAYS does). The day came and no phone call, no email.. nothing. I called askin what happened(i said it in a joking matter.. not to sound bothered) but still no reply. That was monday, then tuesday nothing - i called.. like ok whats going on?, wednesday rolled around.. nothing so i left him a voicemail sayin that if i didn't hear from him by the following day - its over. I left that kind of msg because 1 - its unlike him to flake, not call or email and 2.. i have really bad anxiety and i worry. He knows i worry but always tells me to relax.I started to think maybe he wasnt even home.. maybe he wasnt getting my voicemails (home phone) so i left him an email asking whats up and wondering if he got my voicemails.(sometimes he leaves for days cause he lives w/ his mom and they dont get along sometimes)I still hadnt heard anything on thursday so i wrote him a final email saying everything i had thought(including calling him a coward/saying all he had to do was just tell me what was up seein he flaked/seemed to be ignoring me)..cause i figured he just didnt want to be with me anymore or it was something else.. it was closure for me basically.So surprisingly he writes back an angry email saying that "i dont appreciate weird msgs, ive been super busy..and was hoping youd chill out but guess....its my loss? whatever as long as i doesnt receive weird msgs or emails. fyi next time chill out" the email said a lil more but not much..but it went something like that.i wrote back saying that i was chill i just didnt like being ignored especially cause he flaked and it was unlike him so i didnt know what was goin on..all he had to do was call or lemme know hes busy and i wouldve left him alone and then i asked him to call me instead of replying via email (if he replies)why did he decide to reply? to get the last word? to make me feel like crap and kiss his butt to beg him to come back? his email made me feel slightly bad and made me regret contacting him after he flaked..like if i hadnt contacted him this whole wk..what wouldve happened. it was only 4 days but w/ anxiety it seemed like forever :/ and i dont think i was in the wrong. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (7 August 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question nah it didnt sound harsh. i was worried that something couldve happened to him but then i started to feel stupid about thinking that way and thought..hes prob ignoring me and here i think something happened to him but...i was actually thinking about it tonight - i felt incredibly remorseful and sad.... and before i read ur response - i wrote him a "sorry" email.i didnt know how to go about it/phrase it but i wanted to make sure he knew i was sorry and that i really didnt want to break up.i said "hey im not tryin to email u a bunch but i just wanted to let u know im sorry for the name calling earlier that was very uncalled for.im not normally like that but it bothers me when people flake on plans and dont return calls, flaking is my biggest pet peeve, it felt like u were ignoring me with the intention of not seeing me again.u know that ive never been the one to call or email u alot..thats rare. i didnt wannt break up but i was confused/bothered by the fact u didnt call me back for days. i know u have alot going on currently and i DO understand that. i know it may be too late and if it is i understand but i hope we can be in good terms....maybe we could start over...what do you think? sincerely, me"
all i can hope is that hes willing to give it another go and not be like.. this bitch is crazy lol. thx for replying to me btw :) i really appreciate it.
A
male
reader, xnickx +, writes (7 August 2010):
 But i dont necissarily think you were in the right either. Yous sent him the message saying it was over. I know if my gf would have sent me a message like that, and i was in a similar position, just accepting the fact that she's broken up with you and not fighting it would be the easiest way to eliminate some stress from his life.
imo, it sounded like he replied because he was busy and wanted to let you know what was up, so it wasnt ended with you left wondering what happened.
I dont think you were ignored.
And i get the anxiety/worry. But he's right with fyi chill. Have enough faith in him that something actually did happen to him and that he's not just blowing you off.
Being worried and freaking because he may actually be in some sort of trouble, but your just worried about him blowing you off, are 2 completely seperate things.
When you sent him that message saying it was over, thats going to add a tremendous amount of stress. I think you handled that very poorly, next time, stick with just being concerned.
Yes im sure he could have spared a few mins to call, but maybe he wasnt home, maybe he never recieved your messages.
I really think you should call him back and apologize/explain what you did, and im hoping for you guys that it will work out.
And im really sorry if i sounded a little harsh here, but ive been through some similar experiences and more stress is the last thing this guy needs.
Im pretty sure he'll be willing to get back together.
So best of luck.
Nick.
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