A
female
age
26-29,
*orisykes
writes:Hello:)I've got a few questions, but first, here's a quick overview.Basically i'm almost 16 and i had my first kiss last weekend. It was at a party but the guy and i had been talking for about 3 hours, during which time i had tested him to make sure it wasn't a quick thing, and he passed and stuck with talking to me even when other people tried to get his attention. It was really nice, not too much or anything and he told one of my friends he thought it was nice as well.HOWEVER, this guy is *cringe* two years younger than me, although most of his friends are in my year and he is very mature. (and good looking). We said goodbye nicely.The next day, however, there is a status on his facebook that says 'Please no banter for the mong i got with!'. According to him this was a frape, but its really not funny. Firstly, i am definatly not a mong, and secondly.. what!!!Apparently he was annoyed with himself the next day for getting with me, but i swear he wasn't even drunk?Then i find out that my friends brother had been texting him about me saying i am 'clever', - something negative, in his opinion.Just help me, what do you make of this situation? Should i take his words into account, he really felt bad for getting with me? Should i forget about it?Just some clarification would be amazingly helpful, i feel so confused.Thanks!
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female
reader, Deagan  +, writes (13 February 2012):
 You being clever is a negative thing in his opinion?
I doubt his FB was hacked, especially when it goes along with him saying that he was annoyed with himself after kissing you.
Let's make this perfectly clear. This kid is not mature. Do yourself a favor and forget about it. Don't even give him the satisfaction of making you think you're a "mong," either.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (12 February 2012):
 Well, not necessarily, I mean yes, he must have " kissed and told " his friends , unless some of them were at the party too and saw you.
But, from here to think that he said : I kissed a mong ( horrible, offensive, demeaning word, btw- not to you but to mentally impaired people and their families ) and now I regret it, it's quite a stretch. I think that probably it's just his friends messing with him.
If this really bothers you, you can ask him and see what he says. Sure, the gentlemanly thing to do would have been reassuring you right away, but then again, what do you expect, he's only 14, I am not surprised about his lack of social skills.
The best , though, would be to keep your cool, and just wait calmly for his ACTIONS to speak for him, if he contacts you first / asks to meet again / pursues you / acts nice to you etc., then that kiss meant something to him.
If he does not... let it slide, don't make a drama out of it, and next time, remember, 14 is like really robbing the cradle , even for a just 16 y.o. girl... and if you want to play with infants.. you know that often they poo in your lap, so to speak :)
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A
female
reader, torisykes +, writes (12 February 2012):
torisykes is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, a frape is when someone hacks their facebook account.
In reply he said 'sorry it wasn't me.' and did not confirm or deny that he regretted it to me, however a frape doesn't just come from no-where- he must've been saying something to make such a frape come about?
What should i do next time i see him?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (12 February 2012):
I don't have the situation that clear.
So , it was a " frape ", meaning is FB account got hacked, right ?
Ok, quite possible, but then what did he say about the comment per se ? " Never mind, my friends are obnoxious jerks, obviously I do not regret our kiss " or " I did not call you names, but... I regret we kissed " ? I mean, how do you KNOW he regrets it, did he come out and tell you, or you got it from his friends, or it's just what you think ? ...
I.e. how do you KNOW for a fact that he's annoyed with himself.. ?
Maybe it's all a misunderstanding, or you are being paranoid.
If instead, he told you straight " sorry, it was a mistake " ..sigh, it sucks, but it's not so extraordinary. The boy is 14 for Pete's sake, there 's not such a thing as a MATURE 14 y.o. male ! He got hormonal, and/or caught in the moment , then.. he changed his mind. You can't bet on the reliability and consistency of a 14 y.o.- I don't doubt that a few will be reliable and consistent, but most of them are fickle, and a kiss for them is just a new exciting game.
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