A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:A little history first...I'm a 29 year old single mom who's been dating a wonderful man for over 5 years now. We're both in the military and have spent the last 2 years long distance although we do spend about a week together every 3 months (at least). We're very close and plan on marrying this summer and I'm getting out of the military to be with him. I'm a very intuitive person and I've learned that I can't ignore my gut. He has no family except for a free-spirited, newly re-connected with sister 25 years his senior. He visits her and her adult children several times a year, but prior to about 3 years ago he hadn't had contact with her in over 16 years. I've always been a little uncomfortable when he visits because he acts "weird" and I always get the feeling that he's keeping me a secret, but I have no idea why. I've talked to him about this several times and he says that I'm crazy and that he always talks about me and how great I am and all that good stuff. Well, my question is this: He was visiting my home for about two weeks recently and she called him on his cell. When he was talking to her, he said that he was visiting a "friend" who was getting ready to move to his state and that he was helping get the house organized. This is partly true, I am getting ready to move, but it's to MARRY him and I'm sure as hell more than a friend. I told him that I didn't like what he said and asked if she even knew about me. He looked at me and something in his eyes and in my gut told me that he was lying when he said, "of course she knows who you are, I said 'friend', but she knows it's you". I dropped it even though I knew he was lying about it, but I just don't understand WHY he would lie about it. I'm the one who urged him to seek her out and re-connect 3 years ago. I just don't understand and it's extremely hurtful. Anyone have any ideas?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much...I may be a little bit paranoid and I know that it is in fact his sister- SO, I'm not too worried about that. I tried talking to him about it when he was here last week and he of course said that I was being defensive and "looking" for some kind of drama to entertain myself. Yah. I still don't know and maybe I never will, but we're taking a trip to her house in a few months and I'll be sure to make my position known. "Hi, I'm so glad to meet you finally, geez for the last 6 years he's been talking so much about you!" :-) That sounds about right. Just kidding, that does make me sound pretty childish! Thanks for your comments though, I do appreciate it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2008): Well I read your story, and it may seems that he's trying to cope with many things at a time. First, he's reconnecting with his sister which is someone that although is his relative, he's beginning to know all over again right now, so he may not be wanting to give her all details about his life as he may be slightly opening to her .
You say is his sister and I imagine you know how she looks like or he has told you about her since you mentioned you encourage this reunion. I'm saying this cuz the only way he might be lying or hiding something is that this person is not really his sister but "someone" else he doesn't want you to know and that might be the reason he's talking about you being a friend.
If you indeed have no doubt is his sister and all, I would suggest you talk to him and tell him how you feel about him, how you want to know about his life and family, and that if you guys are going to be together you have the right to know his relatives, at least on picture, and then little by little he can introduce you into his life.
I hope everything works out for you and your relationship. Communication is the key! Good Luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm sure someone out there might have something?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPlease???? Someone?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPlease help, I have no idea and it's eating me up!
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