A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Long story short, I've got a friend with benefits and I made a huge mistake.He took to long to respond to a text, and then told me he was busy.And I got pissy at him and told him to talk to me when he decided I was worth talking to. I pretty much took a 'tantrum' and then acted all pathetic afterward and like apologized heaps.Basically I was all over the place.And I was sure he would never speak to me again (most guys wouldn't I mean seriously, most guys would be all 'f*** off Bitch!')But for some reason, he let me get away with it, sent a quick text defending himself (the next day), and then later on sent a text asking what I was doing with two little x's (kisses).And then we were talking and he said he wanted to see me tomorrow night, and again put two little x's - but I had plans, and he was upset (like not angry at me, just like 'sad' that he couldn't see me - he like put a little sad face).Why did he let me get away with my immature little tantrum? Why is he letting us 'move on' and pretend like it never happened? Why does he still want to see me after what I did?What does this mean?*remember, he is not my boyfriend, he is my FwB, so that's why I don't understand why he is letting me get away with it..
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friend with benefits, immature, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2011): ok.. you wanted advice so ill give it to you. it sounds like you are curious on whether or not he likes you more than a FWB .. well i think that because you blew up on him he was scared of losing u, so hes putting in a lot more effort to mantain your "relationship" that you have. basically, he's all in it for the sexual stuff. from the way u reacted he felt like maybe ud stop being his fwb because u were really pissed off with him, so hes trying to keep u where u are by being extra nice and sweet.
thats all it is.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (26 April 2011):
 I'm sorry your mum is gone to you... that has to hurt... no wonder you are turning to an older boy for comfort...
is there a trusted teacher or an aunt or someone you can talk to???
where is dad? I know girls can't talk to dads about stuff like this but I hope there is a guiding adult for you.
Honey I was your age a lifetime ago and I remember wanting to cuddle and love boys... and I know if some old lady on the internet (not that we had the internet when I was your age) told me not to do it I would have ignored her.
anyway he lets you get away with childish behavior because his goal is to get into your pants...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually I would ask my mum, if she didn't abandon me.
We were extremely close, and comfortable talking about ANYTHING, however we stopped having contact with each other and therefore I cannot ask her for advice.
Trust me, I would if I could.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 April 2011):
honey would you go to your mom and ask her about your FWB?
NO?
why not?
perhaps because you know it's wrong?
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (26 April 2011):
 No, your age gap is not the same as a 25 and 20 year old because yours is illegal.
The only advice that I would want to give to you is to stop what you're doing.
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A
female
reader, amazingk +, writes (25 April 2011):
 What "help" are you looking for? He doesn't have to answer you or do anything at all if he doesn't want to because you're not his girlfriend! You are a no obligation sexual toy (and yes, oral sex is sex). You're just who he goes to for sexual favors. That's it. He blows off the little stuff, like your immature tantrums, to get what he wants from you. Clear???
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe do other sexual things, not sex though.
And the giving and receiving is equal.
I even refused to give him head while I was on my period (because I couldn't receive anything) - which he was OK with
And please stop being so shocked about my behavior, and just pretend this is someone older asking, because I just want answers, your opinions doen't matter, help is all I want.
Also, people who are 17 (that's his age) go out with younger girls all the time (where I am from), the same way a 25 year old would go out with a 20 year old (that age gap is bigger though)- not saying he may like me or whatever, just responding to someones answer
=)
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A
female
reader, amazingk +, writes (24 April 2011):
If you're not sleeping with him, then what "benefits" are you providing or receiving with this friendship? I doubt it's entirely platonic since whatever's going on has got you throwing tantrums. If you're on this site asking about this kind of stuff, I'm sure you're doing more than what you should be doing at your age.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (24 April 2011):
 You have to realize that you confused a bunch of us on here by saying that your relationship was a friends with benefits type. That means that you're friends with the person and have a sexual relationship with them. We gave an answer that was completely based on the information that you gave us. I don't think less or more of you, because I don't know you. The only opinion that I have is that of your actions...
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (24 April 2011):
You're way too young to have a friends with benefits relationship. 13 to 15 year olds should barely even get the concept of dating at that age. Amazingk is right, concentrate on your school and becoming successful. You've still got a whole lot of growing up to do...
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (24 April 2011):
To be fair, amazingk is right, I couldn't agree more with the points she made. Also, what you're doing is illegal as I'm assuming you do other things besides sex.
I'm currently in a FWB relationship and again, as amazingk mentioned, it's hard enough for us (I'm 19 and she's 20) you're only a kid and this guy is like 17 or 18 I think I saw on another question you posted, so this shouldn't even be happening - He is clearly only interested in you sexually, what kind of 17 year old would go for a kid aged 13-15? This is not right!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe don't have sex.also, that was the first 'tantrum' i chucked.Anyways, I wanted advice, not your opinion and how little you think of me, what you think wont change how I act, so just help me instead of picking on me.That's what this site is for.
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A
female
reader, amazingk +, writes (24 April 2011):
FWB in the 13-15 year old category? What the hell is this world coming to??? These situations are tricky enough for seasoned adults to manage, so I can only imagine just how ridiculous this situation is for somebody in your age bracket. Anyways, getting all "pissy" because he didn't answer a text message as soon as you felt he should've and then being mad because he's got other things to do besides you is immature on your part. You guys are NOT a couple, therefore he doesn't have to answer any of your texts if he doesn't feel like it and he doesn't have to answer to you about his whereabouts or daily itineraries. And of course, you don't owe him the same liberties in kind.As far as why he continues to put up with you despite your tantrums: You're EASY ! That's why. He doesn't love you, like you, nor does he want to commit to you. Ignoring your tantrum is a small price to pay for the benefit of free sex with no strings or any investment on his part. Now please, raise your standards and focus on your schooling before you ruin the rest of your life. You haven't even scratched the surface on living yet.
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