A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:There was this dance at our school and an after party at a club.When I left the club, I left with my now best friend who is a guy(M) and one of his classmates(B) that lives close to us and I used to be friends with.Not anymore.B was really drunk when in the club as he always gets really drunk at parties but when we left he wasn't anymore.His behavior was weird towards me, pretty cold and distant.He told me it's stupid how M tells me what all the boys said about me and him and we said it's normal cause we are just friends and we know we don't like each other like everyone thinks.He didn't believe us and insisted I like M and not the other way around.We stopped so that he could eat and there B flirted with me and also told me things that were offending and with sexual connotation.He knew it bothered me but I ignored him as I knew he probably didn't mean to hurt me.He would take my hands in his when he was sitting across me, told me I was beautiful but I wasn't impressed, even touched my leg with his under the table and tried to touch it with his hand but I didn't let him.When we left and went home he suddenly held my hand and interlaced his fingers with mine.I was shocked but we walked like that until we reached my house as he wouldn't let go.When we arrived B told me another bunch of stupid things and I told him to leave now if he cares at least a bit about me.And he bluntly told me he doesn't care about me, which hurt a little.Next day M told me B asked about me.B wanted to know if I said anything about last night and when he found out I was affected by his rude remarks, he said it's my problem and I should learn to know the difference between being serious and joking around and not take everything to heart.M also told me that's the way B is and I should not take it personally as he didn't want to actually hurt me.All this was in november.2 months ago when I went home from school I came across M and B and we walked together.I brought up B's habit of getting wasted and B suddenly told me ''But I wasn't drunk when I walked you home from that dance'' I'm pretty sure he hinted that he wasn't drunk when he held hands with me cause after he ate that's what we did.I wonder why did he mention this months down the road.Me and B rarely talk by the way.Unless we meet on our way home, we don't talk
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2014): He told you it meant nothing to him- in UNKIND NASTY terms. There's no excuse for this... whatever you feel for someone, there's such a thing as caring about other people's feelings that he needs to learn... Which he should know by now. This is not a reflection on you He has NO respect. He INAPPROPRIATELY tried to grope you, whether he was drunk or not, it shows more that he doesn't care than does- he cares with his dick maybe... I had a similar experience, a guy I worked with tried to mess around with me, I was really drunk and ya know I went along with it... I'd only just started at this point- but he seemed so lovely, calling me beautiful, even walked me home (an hour journey) n the next day I joked around "hey lover" type thing, he spent the whole shift flirting with a pretty blonde girl, and ignored me, was rude to me. Of course I cried my eyes out, cos it feels like rejection... But you have to understand it's not true rejection, like he could ever keep YOU anyway, as you're worth more than him, and if you ever started "dating" this slime ball you would sooner or later wise up to the fact that he's too short sighted to see the beautiful person you are- he views you like he views other women- like an OBJECT. Something that has no feelings and no opinion on whether or not you want to be groped... Exactly what Cindy said as well "don't pick up the habit of crushing on rude obnoxious guys just because they show you a tiny bit of attention..." Good family and true friends are the ones that should care about you, don't be afraid to talk to them about your feelings. Relax and do whatever makes you happy. Take care x :)
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 April 2014):
 No sorry, chances are he was still drunk. It takes two hours to eliminate ONE glass of wine from your system, and 3 hours for just a pint of beer, if he was " wasted " when he was in the club, he might have been in slightly better shape when you went out, the effects might have started waning, but chances are he was still under the influence or tipsy or whatever you want to call it.
Anyway, that's all idle speculation isn'it ?. B behaved badly with you, he made offensive sexual remarks, got undily touchy feely, was generally rude, told you openly he does not give a hoot about you, made you uncomfortable, hurt your feelings etc. etc... but he says " you are beautiful " and holds your hand, and oh then it's all different for you ?! Plus, after the hand holding night, he never contacted you, talked to you, asked you out or anything, so why are you wasting energies on him ?
Chances are that yes, instead he was still tipsy and he had a touchy-feely moment - but , had he been completely sober, he never showed any interest after that brief moment, so don't overthink this... and don't pick up the habit of crushing on rude obnoxious guys just because they show you a tiny bit of attention !
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