A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Today I went shopping with the guy that I have been seeing. We were at a department store where if you apply for their credit card, you get 15% discount on your purchases. So he applied for the card. But 2 things stood out to me. First, he's a teacher, so when asked for ID, instead of giving them his license, he gave them his school work ID. When that didn't work, he went to his car to get his license. Who doesn't keep it with them on person? Why would he put it in his car. Then, after he got it, he wouldn't let me stand near him and wait with him to fill out the form. He literally pushed me away (gently, but still pushed me) and told me to go shopping because it was going to take awhile. I've gotten store credit cards before. They are not a big deal. You fill out a form, it takes a few minutes and you're done. So I don't understand why I had to go away. Am I over thinking or is this weird to you guys as well? He's not the type that's very open. He doesn't share personal details with me, he rather have conversations about nothing than tell me about himself. Whenever I ask him about himself, I feel like I'm pulling teeth and I feel so nosy asking for basic stuff because he's so closed off to me. And I can't be with someone who refuses to tell me about his childhood or even what his major in college was. I didn't know until 2 or 3 months into dating him. I'm open and tell him everything. And he doesn't. What do you guys think? Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2011): If he is uber private in general and you picked up a vibe when he didn't want you to watch him filling out a form with his personal details. Then maybe there is something wrong. Could he be married...in another relationship or lying about his job? It is strange that he didn't want you around, purely because he did not want you to wait for him.
Being a teacher, he must be used to students watching him write things down and waiting for him to finish. I doubt he gently pushed them away while he is doing it!
If you feel something is not right. Then it might be wise to follow your instincts and be cautious until he allows you to get to know him a little better.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (29 June 2011):
 You are so overthinking that.
Probably he keeps his license in his car because that's where you need to have it if the police pulls you over. And you don't need to stuff your wallet with papers ,it's inconvenient. So, he has his driving license in his car, and his other ID on himself- very normal.
I use my passport as a regular ID, and that occasionaly has drawn surprised or suspicious looks, as if I were a criminal on the lam, ready to leave the country. The truth is much less adventurous : my passport pic is much better than my other IDs and I prefer to show that ( yes, I'm vain :)
Ditto for filling out the form. I hate keeping people waiting for me , and most of all having them behind me breathing on my neck whille I am doing something.Sure, it only takes 5 minutes. But maybe more, if I make a mistake and have to rewrite. And a lot of people just don't like to be WATCHED even if they do something totallly innocent.
As for not volunteering personal informations, it's hard to say , not knowing him in person. I'd say unless he is not downright mysterious, i.e. you know his address, phone no., work place, basic infos.... some people are more ready to talk about themselves and sharing personal stuff, and other are more withdrawn and reserved. Maybe he's just the kind of guy who does not like small talk ( What's your birth sign ? Where did you go to high school ? ). Maybe he does not feel close to you yet. Go figure.
But, on the base of what you say in your post, 'd say we can give him the benefit of doubt and not authomatically assume that he's hiding from the FBI.
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A
male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (29 June 2011):
I don't think he is weird at all, he probably just values his privacy a little more, whereas you are more comfortable to be very open. You say you refuse to be with someone who is that closed so I think you have your solution. But remember relationships aren't about making the other person more like you, they are about loving the parts of them that attract you and learning to understand and accept the parts that.. don't.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (29 June 2011):
 I guess some people leave their license in the car, why not? That's his business, and there doesn't have to be anything wrong with it just because you do things differently. What's so weird about this, and what would it suggest?He wanted to fill out the form without you reading over his shoulder. It's a taste for privacy. There's nothing to be offended by or over think. I don't think this episode sounds weird at all, just your every day normal things happening. You can't always know everything another person is thinking or why they do what they do, why they for example put on their socks before their trouser. The by far easier option than to try and interpret every move is to just ignore it. People do things their own way, let them.
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