A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex dumped me for another guy, but then she told me that she got pregnant with his baby; she came down here to have an abortion, all he did then was text her once, didn't go to see her at all, and that's how she ended it with him. Two questions:1) I want to get back with her; how do I handle it?2) Why did he do that?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe said to me that she'd stayed with me and if she had, she would have kept the baby; strange to think that, if we were still together, I would have been a dad by now, or not, or fathering another man's child!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): FROM A FEMALES PERSPECTIVE: She knows she made a mistake, she knows that she hurt you ...and whats makes her feel even worse was knowing the fact that the guy she choose over you, most likely used her. And to end up pregnant with his child is worse He turned his back on her and the child by illustrating that he didn't give a darn. Its a very sad situation and I'm sure it wasn't that she wanted the "bigger-better-deal". There is an endless amount of reason why she felt like doing it. Still though, You might want to wait...for your sake and hers.."healing time". But you shouldn't be so forward if you are still in love with her...take it easy and feel things out. Don't rush, just see how she is doing and figure out if you are really wanting to be with her and all her flaws again.
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (3 January 2008):
 You want to know why he did that?
Because he's a cad.
You're ex did it because she was probably looking for the BBD (Bigger, Better, Deal). Only she ended up with the shaft (pun intended).
I wouldn't be in any hurry to try to win her heart back. Let her stew in own juices for a while. Besides, she should be the one begging you to get you back. If you go sniveling back to her, you'll look like a friggin' door mat. "I can go screw Joe Blow and do as I please and my boyfriend, (your name here), will always be there to take me back." Not exactly a great a foundation for building a new relationship with her.
Like I said before, let her stew. . . .
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A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (3 January 2008):
 "Handle the news that she gave me, noone's trusted me with information like that before"
Like you say she's TRUSTED YOU with that information so keep it to yourself. Don't talk to anyone about it.
"Everyone (her friends) told her what he was like, but she wouldn't listen, and now (I'm not going to do this) but I'm very tempted to say they told you so!"
I imagine she's feeling really low and "I told you so" isn't going to help her. I'd suggest you show her you care... Give her a call... Or send a text (whatever you usually do) and just ask her if she's ok and tell her you still feel for her and if she needs someone to talk to you're always there for her.
Obviously the guy she left you for was an idiot and perhaps there is a chance you two can work things out... Maybe she's learnt from this mistake. But I do think you need to give her some time, don't get involved romantically/intimately right away, just be there for her and when she's ready and got herself back together, perhaps you can continue.
Best of luck and let us know how you get on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHandle what? I should have explained myself better! Handle the news that she gave me, noone's trusted me with information like that before!Everyone (her friends) told her what he was like, but she wouldn't listen, and now (I'm not going to do this) but I'm very tempted to say they told you so!!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 January 2008):
 Handle what? He knocked her up and moved on, obviously it was a totally one-sided relationship. If you want to get back with her then give her a call and see if she's interested.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2008): Don't silly. Move on. You are young and you should be stress free
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