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female
,
anonymous
writes: Here it is, I have known this guy for a couple of years, hes is younger than me. Last year we were, i guess you could say, "sex buddies" as it suited us both. However, he started seeing someone and things ended. Thing is, the last few months we have grown closer (close enough to include do everything but sex itself) and even though he knows I want more, he wants me to be patient because he is scared by the whole "intimate" committed relationship. The last few days were amazing and we both thought it felt right last night yet but it all went wrong. i know i was nervous (never felt like that before) and if i was, then he must have been. The time came to "protect" ourselves and from that point on it just wasnt happening for him. Took it off and bingo no problem. Obviously the condom didnt help but do you think i did anything else wrong....... he says it doesnt matter because the night was nice and that was all that mattered but he also said that he thought he was ready but was wrong and needs more time. Why was things ok last year but not now? Any advice please
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female
reader, camille  +, writes (21 August 2006):
 Sounds like it's a condom issue. You do sound like you're pressurizing the issue and that will not be helping. Give him space and realise that you are either going to be just friends or have a proper relationship. You obviously have deeper feelings which came to light when he got toegther with someone else. It may have suited you before to sleep together, but not anymore. Things have changed and you should now re-evaluate your friendship. Friends shouldn't just have sex with each other, it won't work and won't last unless you both want to make the same commitmment one way or another. Sort it out or lose him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2006): Maybe he's afraid of an emotional commitment and you will have to be patient with him. Some men like the idea of no-strings sex, but when it comes to commitment issues they get scared, hence the performance anxiety. Just give him time and when he's ready I'm sure everything will be fine.
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