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male
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anonymous
writes: Right this is my situation, I'm very good friends with a girl basically she's my best friend, emotionally we are very great, but physically I am not attracted to her at all, plus I'm not looking for a relationship.She came out of a long term relationship a year ago, and since that we became close we go out have dinner ETC ETC, but without hugs kisses, NOR sex just FRIENDS, we are not a couple.She knows that I'm not looking for anything more, she compares everyone she meets to me, and we text every night and to be honest we are basically a couple but without the commitment, sex etc.shes putting pressure on me lately when she knows that I'm getting loads of pressure from work, and i'm very stressed with it now, and now she puts pressure on whats happening with us and me and her when ive told several times that I do not want anything and she says that shes afraid of getting hurt but I've told her that im not looking for that, and she is building hope of something out on nothing and she is setting herself up for heartache because if i tell her that i do not want her i dont want to break her heart.What do i do.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2006): i think u must have stringed her along at some point! y else would this girl be confused? how did u 2 meet?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2006): I agree with bonym. It's harsh but it's fair. Tell her flat out that you are, without a doubt, not looking for anything more than friends with this girl. If she's still stuck on this shred of hope that something will happen between the two of you, you aren't being clear enough. You have to be frank, without being rude. Tell her that you really enjoy her friendship and that you want to remain friends with her, but that you simply aren't interested in her in that way. You could try the classic, "I see you kind of like a sister" techinque. It's flattering in a way because it says that you're close to her and you like it, but it completely shuts all romantic doors, which is exactly what you want. You just have to be sure to say what you're going to say in a way that isn't completely rude or humiliating. I hope it all works out. Good luck and take care!
~RJGirl
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A
female
reader, bonym  +, writes (21 August 2006):
 Sometimes you have to be "cruel" to be kind, what I mean is, dont come out and say something along the lines of "I dont find you attractive at all" but you need to simply tell her that you are happy being single and you are privelaged to have her as such a good mate and tell her you want to be friends forever. I would rather a guy I liked told me to my face, I am not interested cos what happens is that I get more and more into them and start to fall for them and then if he tells me he doesnt like me after all that time, it will break my heart. She will thank you in the long run if you just tell her the plain truth. Good luck and I hope it goes well. xXx
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