A
female
age
36-40,
*nnnia
writes:the guy I was dating is attracted to me (havent had sex yet) and loves hanging out with me..we have a great chemistry.. Lately he's been busy with exams and school. We had an argument(our first) and didnt talk in a week. When we finally talked he said he Isnt in love with me. I said i understood, but really I dont. He wants us to keep hanging out. He always used to kiss me when we were togheter, like he could not stop himself from doing it. Wonder what happened and how he's going to behave next time. We did he cut it of so quickly?! Like he was in some kind of rush:(? What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Annnia +, writes (15 May 2011):
Annnia is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes he's 27 and has only been togheter with one girl. It ended last summer, he Said it was because she caused a lot of drama. We didnt really argue. We had a appointment, and he had a lot of stress in school, and didnt text me back for almost 12 hours, and i called him and he said he couldnt meet me and he didnt Even know when he could because he had so much to do. I got a little disapointed, it was HIM that wanted to make the appointment anyway. I Asked him if he didnt want to spend time with me, and he said he would, but he said we had seen eachother very much lately (2 times a week ; dont know about that) and that he liked me very much but needed the time for his exam. I said i didnt like not to know when we were going to meet again but i accepted it. He Said we would talk in the end of the week, and i kind of expected him to call but he never did...:( so i called him after 8 days, and first we chatted very shallow, as i didnt wanted to confront him again.. After that i got a textmessage saying he loved hanging out with me, and would love to be my friend, but didnt want more. We talked afterwards and he said he wasnt in love. He also said he got scared of me being so serious, and Got scared that i was mad at him in the "argue".. I said that i only wanted him to know that i liked him..( And to be honest - i really dont Think i have been needy at all...) i actually didnt Think about love either (we've only been dating for a month) and I REALLY dont understand why he says this. He is very very attracted to me (Even though he agree with me to wait with sex until we know eachother better) and he loves my personality and sense of humour.. We can talk about anything.. It doesnt make sense. What should I do?!? Think we will meet again after his (and mine) exams in 3 weeks(if he ment what he said).... Is this too long time?
A
male
reader, mrg123  +, writes (15 May 2011):
 Woha, I think there is a lot going on here. It sounds like a bit of a tangled mess. Who mentioned love? Why didn't you talk for a whole week? I can understand not talking for a few days but a week? What was the argument about? Really some more details would be needed. Nonetheless, I'm prepared to make a guess that his behaviour is consistent with getting cold feet. It seems he feels like things were going a long way and too fast for his liking and he has slammed on the breaks. The reason im going with this is the matter of fact way he seems to have told you he doesnt love you. Obviously your attached to him but im not even sure you would have been prepared to go that far?So, what can you do? Well my best advice is to try and piece together the friendship again. In doing so try and gain some insight into what happened (has he, for example, had a bad relationship experience that has made him this way). If your lucky you two will get another shot at it and will be able to overcome this obstacle BUT there are no guarantees with this one. You just have to bide your time because if it is commitment phobia pushing him will move him further away from you. Good luck and take care.
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