A
female
age
41-50,
*arrah01
writes:Hi i would like to ask you guys for some help. The issue that i have is love related.Il try and cut the story short. I have been going out with this guy for nearly 2 months. How the relationship started was extremely strange. I didnt know this guy at all i had just seen him around. All of a sudden he started to chase my car every time i used to see him, if i was going in the other direction he would turn around and follow me, which i thought was very strange.Anyway one day he pulled up next to me and asked me for my number. I ended up giving it to him. He text me and we got quite close. we started seeing each other and we would talk for hours and hours on the phone at night sometimes for three to five hours!!I was not that attracted to him he was more into me! He is an Absolute gentleman and has told me he has liked me for nearly two years!!! He lives in my area and knows my family so has seen me around!!2 weeks ago we went out together and he came to mine afterwards and we ended up sleeping together! Now I have two issues i want your help with:1) When we had sex he "came" VERY quickly. First time within one and a half minutes of giving him oral. he became aroused after about 30 mins again and then came inside me after 2 minutes. He was really concerned about my enjoyment and tried to please me but i was left VERY Frustrated by him cuming so quickly. He is 25 years old and wasnt very confident in bed. did i do something wrong? Ive never had a guy *** so fast on me. Did he just want it over and done with? which would make me feel very bad.Second thing:One day after we slept together he went on holiday back home to see his family. Now this has been absolute torture for me. I am missing him so much, i havent spoke to him in the last week but he has been txtn me everyday, nearly 3-4 times a day but i feel as if i am missing him more that he is missing me!!! how can i take my mind of him??? dont get me wrong i am smart confident person i go out with my friends go to the gym... have other interests just CANNOT STOP thinking about him!! what can i do to get around this?! Why am i missing him so much?? i never expected it!please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2010): I would never feel comfortable talking to a stranger about this but thank god for anonymity because I would die of embarrassment telling a stranger this. I started masterbating at about thirteen. I think most other boys I knew did also but it's not something I talked to anyone about. I got really good at it to. I could do it for a long time and I could stop just before orgasm and have great control. I was in for a big surprise when I started having sex. I had trouble getting an erection. I was surprised because I had never heard of performance anxiety and I really had it. My first sexual expierience was horrible. I eventually got an erection and the whole thing lasted only a minute or so and I didn't even have an orgasm. The woman I with didn't have a lot of fun either. when I had sex a few other times with a different woman after that. Same thing happened. I had a lot of trouble getting an erection and eventually we had sex. As soon as I put it in I came. I was mortified. After this happened we managed to do it a couple more times later without premature ejaculation. When I met my wife she was so sweet and understanding that she took all the pressure off of me and when we had sex everything worked perfectly. Here is what you should know. The longer the penis is stimulated before sex the less time before he will come. This is pretty much just a rule of thumb though. Sex is a partner effort. Men can masterbate for a long time before they come. A woman touching a man is a little different but with a little practice the man can last a long time. It sounds like the guy is just a little inexpierienced. That is not a big deal. It can be a whole lot of fun learning. Now I have some great news for you. After a man comes most men can get another erection in a short and unspecified time period. I am an older guy but expierienced and I know my body. I have had another erection in as little as five minuts but usually it takes me at least 15 minutes. After that first orgasm it's harder to get another one and premature ejaculation is not an issue. Let the guy know that if he comes too quickly it is not a big deal. After he comes give it a little time and start making out with him again. It also really helps if you jerk him off often because this lets him learn how to control the urge. Bottom line is this is completely normal and will work itself out.
A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (26 January 2010):
 Nooooo, give this guy a chance!
Your post kinda reminded me of my own guy. He had a crush on me for 4 years before we got together, and umm, well, the intial interactions caused me to wonder if he had a bit of a problem too.
But no, no he didn't, definately not, and time has proven that. Can you imagine tho, lusting after someone for so long and suddenly having them naked in your bed? You can hardly blame him for hormones and emotions getting the better of him - but it will most likely settle down in time.
My guy still (6 months in) will look at me, shake his head, and say things like 'wow, I just can't believe you are sitting in my car'. It is just overwhelming and surreal to him that he never imagined seeing someone in a shop, being so instnatly attracted to them, and then years later actually being their partner.
After pursuing you like he did, don't under estimate how much he is missing you in return! He is most likely not blowing fast coz he wants it over (if he was turned off it would not be likely to even happen) ...he is probably blowing quick coz he is soooo in to you that he is having trouble containing himself.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 January 2010):
1). It's not your fault he came quickly. You didn't do anything wrong. He was just very turned on. Next time, make sure he does spend time on you, guide him to what you want him to do. You did nothing wrong.
2). You miss him because he's swept you off your feet and you like him! And he's still in contact, which means he's not used you and dumped you. So get talking to him again and go out on another date!
Good luck :)
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